#2-Uncle Bud’s joke

Uncle Bud’s Joke (not so funny)

Uncle Bud tells the same joke every year at the first campfire, so every returning camper knows it by heart. And just before he gets to the end, we always interrupt by yelling out the punch line and laughing hysterically.

Here it is. But I warn you, it’s only funny if you’ve heard it a million times.

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A man went into a restaurant with a gigantic, sharp-toothed monster on a leash.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” the waiter said, “Your creature looks extremely dangerous. You’ll have to tie him up outside.”

So the man took his monster outside and tied him to a post, then came back inside and ordered dinner. Just as he took the first bite, a little girl came into the restaurant and asked, “Does that terrible monster outside belong to anyone in here?”

illustration by Georgie Sinkoff

“It’s mine,” said the man. “Is there a problem?”

“Well, I’m really sorry,” the little girl said, “But my tiny little kitten just killed him.”

“Killed him!?” The man shouted. “How?”

“She choked him,” the little girl replied.

The man waved his arms in the air and asked loudly, “How could your tiny little kitten choke my great big monster?”

The little girl looked at the man and said, “She got stuck in his throat.”

*     *     *     *     *

Uncle Bud needs a new joke. If you know a better joke or a worse joke, please tell it to me.

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. Q:There is other bad jokes like:a spechaial bunny crossed a dessert,but the track it leave behind is a line,a haunter saw it,and follow the track,and killed the bunny,but how did he know its a bunny track ?A:the bunny ride a bike!

  2. Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’ ‘I don’t need to outrun the bear,’ the first guy says. ‘I just need to outrun you.’

  3. Hi Cheeseman! You should write a series about how you think Lana’s life goes because (no offense to you) I(a girl) read your books, so my brother wants to read a book from a girl’s perspective, just written by you. Also, are you eleven or twelve?

  4. Beware the Madrigals. They are coming. There is also another threat. They go by the name of the Vespers. Beware.

    • Okay. I am on my guard, but I think The 39 Clues will be most troublesome for those who live in the middle of the USA. I live in Massachusetts. Probably the worst will happen in Missouri and Kansas.

  5. Stupid and Manners are brothers. One day Manners is missing.The policeman has a conversation with Stupid.
    “Your name?”
    “Manners is missing!”

    • Really?
      I guess if you’ve heard it a 1000 times like I have, it gets less funny.

  6. two men go hunting. the first gets a heart attack and drops dead. the second calls 911. the hunter says “my friend just got a heart attack and dropped dead”. the operator replies “okay, calm down, first we have to make sure that he is dead”. there is a short silence then the operator hears a gunshot. “now what” the hunter asks…

  7. A good joke is: Knock-knock. Who’s there? Cook. Cook who? Are you as crazy as you sound?!?!?!

    • I don’t know their first names, but their initials were:
      I. M. Wrong
      U. R. Wrong

  8. Ok, I got a short one, so he can have a compilation.

    There are 10 types of people in the world. One understands binary and the other doesn’t. Don’t get it? 10 in binary means 2.

  9. What’s the difference between a piano , a tuna and a pot of glue?
    You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna
    What about the pot of glue?
    I knew you’d get stuck there!

    What’s the difference between an onion and homework?
    Nobody cries when you cut up homework!

  10. A girl walks into the store . A server asks “what do you want to drink?”the girl asks “do you have milkshakes ?”The server says “No, but I do have a cow