Georgie and I did an oral presentation in fifth grade about junk food. Like I wrote in Cheesie Mack Is Not a Genius or Anything, if you have to do an oral report, you have my permission to use this for your school presentation. (Tell me if you do by commenting below!) Of course you should tell your teacher that it comes from Cheesie Mack. Otherwise, it’s cheating… and, c’mon, you’ll probably get just as good a grade if you don’t cheat.
Here goes. I did the talking; Georgie did everything else.
Boys and Girls of Ms. Higgins’ fifth-grade class:Be sure to change this to your own teacher’s name and your grade!
You’ve probably heard that you should eat foods from all of the important Food Groups like vegetables, fruits, meats, grains, and other good stuff.
Georgie held up a large version that we had drawn of the food pyramid, like the one above, and pointed out the various food groups. Then he showed all the kids some food we’d taken from our cafeteria lunch: peas, an apple, and a half-eaten hot dog on a bun. (There were no bites taken when we left the cafeteria. I suspect Georgie!)
That’s true if you’re thinking about good health and stuff like that. But what about junk food? There are Food Groups for junk food, too. The four Junk Food Groups are Salt, Sugar, Grease, and Starch.
Georgie poured equal amounts of salt, sugar, cooking oil, and powdered mashed potatoes into a glass bowl and mixed it. It looked like glue. He tasted it (Georgie is very adventurous!), made a face, then dumped it into the trash.
The Perfect Junk Food should have lots of all four of the Junk Food Groups and not much other so-called good stuff like protein, fiber, or vitamins.
Georgie pulled beef jerky, a shredded wheat biscuit, and chewable Flintstones out of his pocket, put one of each in his mouth, chewed, and pretend-barfed a super-gross mouthful into the trash.
How about glazed donuts?
That might be a good choice. They have huge amounts of Sugar, Grease, and Starch. Also, not much good stuff. That’s three of the all-important Junk Food Groups. But they don’t have anywhere near enough Salt to qualify as the Perfect Junk Food. You can try to fix that problem…
Georgie poured a huge amount of salt on a glazed donut, took a bite, made a face, and spit it out into the trash.
…but you probably won’t like the result. After extensive research, however, we discovered there is a lot of sugar in ketchup.
Georgie held up a squeeze bottle of ketchup and a copy of a nutrition magazine. There are lots of different nutrition magazines. You can find one in the public library. The nerdier the better. You don’t actually need to read it…just show it to your audience.
Therefore, the Perfect Junk Food is French fries with ketchup. Delicious, readily available almost everywhere, and with plenty of Salt, Sugar, Grease, and Starch… the perfect balance of all four Junk Food Groups.
Georgie held up a bag of fast food French fries, doused them with huge glops of ketchup and gobbled them down. The kids in your class will cheer.
Good luck! Let me know what you did and how it turned out.
Please comment below.