My Primate Report (The stuff on this webpage is mentioned on page 24 of my book)

I said I would put the paper I wrote about primates online, but I can’t because last year some kids cheated by copying their reports No cheatingright off the internet. (Not me and not Georgie!) So when I asked for permission to put my report here, my teacher told me, “Sorry, no can do.”

But I did convince Ms. Higgins to allow me to put my notes (not my whole report) online. And she agreed you could use them to write your own report…if you put me in your bibliography and do your own research as well.

I got an A+ on my primate paper, but Ms. Higgins wrote:

“This is a very well-done and interesting report, but your bibliography is inadequate. You must list all the sources you researched. And it’s a good idea to use at least three sources.”

So here are my notes. If you use them in school, please let me know.

Kingdom: Animalia (animals, not plants)
Phylum: Chordata (has a backbone, not like a spider or jellyfish)
Class: Mammalia (warm-blooded, has hair, and gives milk to babies)
Order: Primates (that’s what this report is about!)


A baby orangutan with hair that sticks straight up
I wish I could do my hair like this baby orangutan!

Two groups of primates:

  1. Prosimians (mostly lemurs…which live only in Madagascar and which I have another page about)
  2. Simians (monkeys, apes, my sister Goon, and humans)

Habitat: Except for humans who live everywhere, primates are mostly tropical or subtropical. Most live in trees. (I have slept in a tree house.)


  • Smallest—Madame Berthe’s mouse lemur = 1 ounce!
  • Largest—Eastern lowland gorilla = 440 pounds!
  • Best—Cheesie Mack, who weighs 78 pounds.
Picture of a spider monkey
When I was little, Goon told me I was born with a tail that had to be surgically removed. It used to upset me, but if I actually had a prehensile tail and could hang from things, how cool would that be?

Brains: Very large compared to their bodies (especially Glenn Philips!)

Vision: More important than sense of smell, although some primates wear glasses. (Georgie made me write this!)

Toes: All primates have a flat toenail on their big toes. (weird, huh?)

Thumbs and Tails: Most have opposable thumbs and some have prehensile tails.

Males vs. Females: In most species the male is larger than the female. (An exception is Mrs. Jergensen, one of the lunch ladies at Rocky Neck Elementary School. She is about three times bigger than her husband.)

A chimp showing its teethPets: Some people keep monkeys as pets, but they are not easy to care for. They are very strong, can get really upset and fierce, and can live a long time. (I read about a chimpanzee that went crazy and bit the nose off his owner…and ate it! Ewww!)

Language: Although primates can communicate with others in their species, only humans have language. (I do not know of a single non-human primate with his own website like me.)

Please comment below and tell me what you know about primates…and especially if you have first-hand experience. And more especially if you write a report for school.

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Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. hi cheesie i remember when u came to my school i got one of your books it was cheesie mac is not exactly famous and i cant believe you really wrote a note in it u talked to and said that it wasn’t really easy to write a book but after that day i went home and wrote a book on every thing that happened in all of your books that book took me two years even tho i’m still writing in it but ill tell u something in my book it was all a dream and none of that happened he was still the way he was in the first book but it was all a long dream
    i love all your books -peace

  2. Primates are de-evolutions of humans(I think), and they are Vertabrates (animals with back`bones, yep! some animals don’t even have bones! (including sharks!))

  3. ───▐▀▄───────▄▀▌───▄▄▄▄▄▄▄───────

    1. Some kids copied my report and pretended it was their own work. That’s cheating, not borrowing.

  4. Great job, Cheesie. I totally think you deserve an A+ and all the extra credit points possible. It is very interesting and informs you neatly of unique animals. (Just don’t get the wrong idea about me, I am a girly-girl. But I love to laugh. By any chance do you have a joke for me?) Great! 🙂 Go Primates! (Love that word because it almost sounds like pirates. Are pirates primates?)
    An eager nine year old fan,
    Eden Jones

  5. I love primates. And it is amazing to know we evolved from these animals! Wow!

  6. I’m doing chimpanzees for my school project…if your teacher gave you an A+, I should get one too! 😀

    1. Thanks! I’m glad you liked it. Mammalian creatures are very interesting, IMO. But did you know there are WAY MORE species of insects than mammals…like millions more!

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