Point Battle Rules

Here is how the Point Battle is scored. (Goon has never seen this.)

These rules apply equally to Goon and to me. I do not cheat. Otherwise, why bother?


If one of us insults the other…

  • When we’re alone:     1 point
  • When other people can hear:      2 points
  • Points are doubled for a REALLY excellent insult.


Causing the other to do something embarrassing…

  • when we’re alone:       2 points
  • when other people are around:       4 points
  • Points are doubled for a REALLY excellent embarrassment.


Getting punished…

  • by parents:     4 points
  • by school:     8 points
  • by police:     You lose—GAME OVER


Points are doubled when…

  • it’s a REALLY BIG punishment
  • you’re caught lying
  • the other kid tattles
  • the other kid is actually at fault, but doesn’t get punished.


Comment below if you have brother or sister problems. How do you handle yours?

Cheesie VS. Goon

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Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. Hello, I think that the point battle thing is kind of inappropriate for handling things with brother/sister problems, why don’t you just hug it out or something lol jk boi as I’m writing this I’m reading your book about the Pocahontas thing btw if you want a (tour) for the new game Fortnite mobile( my pc broke) then call me up on my phone number I’m 6th grade about to go seventh wish me luck lol. Call me anytime my dude

    1. Thanks, for your cool comment. I had to remove your phone number because of privacy. You shouldn’t put your number on the internet.

  2. Thanks cheesie i’m going to try it out with my 3 sisters.
    i’m going to wreck them. my youngest sister is 7 and is a tattle tailer ha ha

  3. Why don’t you just tickle goon in front of Georgie? You’ll get lots of points!

  4. Hey Cheesie,
    I have read about your books and I find them totally interesting.

    Make more books!

  5. Here are some words that could be used as excellent insult words: Tedious, Corpulent, Scrawny, Vapid, Heinous, Atrocious, Preposterous, Despicable, Hypocrite

    1. Being corpulent or scrawny is not an insult. It’s just how someone looks. The others are excellent.

  6. I’ll try to remember those rules and start a point battle with my sister!

  7. look cheesie(ronald)i have a problem i am 7 and my lil bro is screaming, hitting & making faces at me can you help?

    1. Well, my name is Ronald, but everyone just sort of decided to call me Cheesie because of mac ‘n’ cheese

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