#1-Junk Food Presentation

Georgie and I did an oral presentation in fifth grade about junk food. Like I wrote in Cheesie Mack Is Not a Genius or Anything, if you have to do an oral report, you have my permission to use this for your school presentation. (Tell me if you do by commenting below!) Of course you should tell your teacher that it comes from Cheesie Mack. Otherwise, it’s cheating… and, c’mon, you’ll probably get just as good a grade if you don’t cheat.

Here goes. I did the talking; Georgie did everything else.

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Boys and Girls of Ms. Higgins’ fifth-grade class:

Be sure to change this to your own teacher’s name and your grade!

You’ve probably heard that you should eat foods from all of the important Food Groups like vegetables, fruits, meats, grains, and other good stuff.

This is actually a picture of a bar of soap. I found it on the internet. I asked Mom to buy me one, but she said, "No way. Too weird." (If you think you can convince your mother, click the image.)

Georgie held up a large version that we had drawn of the food pyramid, like the one above, and pointed out the various food groups. Then he showed all the kids some food we’d taken from our cafeteria lunch: peas, an apple, and a half-eaten hot dog on a bun. (There were no bites taken when we left the cafeteria. I suspect Georgie!)

That’s true if you’re thinking about good health and stuff like that. But what about junk food? There are Food Groups for junk food, too. The four Junk Food Groups are Salt, Sugar, Grease, and Starch.

Georgie poured equal amounts of salt, sugar, cooking oil, and powdered mashed potatoes into a glass bowl and mixed it. It looked like glue. He tasted it (Georgie is very adventurous!), made a face, then dumped it into the trash.

The Perfect Junk Food should have lots of all four of the Junk Food Groups and not much other so-called good stuff like protein, fiber, or vitamins.

Georgie pulled beef jerky, a shredded wheat biscuit, and chewable Flintstones out of his pocket, put one of each in his mouth, chewed, and pretend-barfed a super-gross mouthful into the trash.

How about glazed donuts? That might be a good choice. They have huge amounts of Sugar, Grease, and Starch. Also, not much good stuff. That’s three of the all-important Junk Food Groups. But they don’t have anywhere near enough Salt to qualify as the Perfect Junk Food. You can try to fix that problem…

Georgie poured a huge amount of salt on a glazed donut, took a bite, made a face, and spit it out into the trash.

…but you probably won’t like the result. After extensive research, however, we discovered there is a lot of sugar in ketchup.

Nutrition mag

Georgie held up a squeeze bottle of ketchup and a copy of a nutrition magazine. There are lots of different nutrition magazines. You can find one in the public library. The nerdier the better. You don’t actually need to read it…just show it to your audience.

Therefore, the Perfect Junk Food is French fries with ketchup. Delicious, readily available almost everywhere, and with plenty of Salt, Sugar, Grease, and Starch…the perfect balance of all four Junk Food Groups.

Georgie held up a bag of fast food French fries, doused them with huge glops of ketchup and gobbled them down. The kids in your class will cheer.


Good luck! Let me know what you did and how it turned out.
Please comment below.

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. My brother came up with some INSANE food combos. If they were in a store they would say “not for human consumption”.

    • I have never had a fried banana sandwich, but I have had fried bananas at a Cuban restaurant. They are yummy! They’re not made with regular bananas. They use plantains, which look like regular bananas, but are not as sweet or as mushy. Dee-lish!

      • India specializes in plantain chips and banana chips, and they are delicious! This is due to the major production of banana-type fruits. Plantains are fruits, right?

  3. I came up with a genius food, a mustpickleweed you wrap see weed around a pickle smothered in mustard and the put mustard around that.(as you can see I love mustard)

  4. My friend Callie and i made a treat with marshmellow fluff,chocolate chip cookies,cholcate chips,and chocolate grahm crackers. it was YUUMMMMYYYYY!

  5. Have you tried a bacon slamwich? It’s when you get two pieces of bread, 1 pound of bacon, mayo, PB, pickles, jelly,and granola and stuff the bread with the things I just listed and you have a bacon slamwich (the equivalent to punchingyourself eleventeen times)

  6. Cheesie, try making a Dixie Cup Combo .You first get a Dixie Cup,put a big marshmallow in the Dixie Cup, pour chocolate syrup on the big marshmallow and then sprinkle chocolate chips on the marshmallow and voila you have a dixie cup combo .

  7. u see my science fair is coming up cheesie and i was just wondering what u got on this presentation abut junk food and please tell the truth

    • I got A+ on the presentation. Georgie got an A-. I think Ms. Higgins thought he was just too gross.
      And that’s the truth.

  10. Why did you do a JUNK FOOD presentation insted of aHEALTHY FOOD presentation? P.S. Good job Cheesie and George!

    • James & Veronica—
      Thanks for saying you like our report. The reason we did JUNK FOOD is because it’s way funnier. And Georgie, who is always hungry, wanted to eat French fries.

  11. Great Job on the junk food report. You and gepgie have great ideas. I have been reading your books non-stop. you are awesome

  12. sorry that i spelled cheesie wrong. Some timees I type so fast and forget to check i mess up

  13. Hey Chedssie,
    My friend would put ice cream on pizza. She would also put popcorn,and apples,and cheez-its,and goldfish on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. What do yuo think of that?

    • The popcorn/apples/crackers thing sounds great. I often put potato chips on sandwiches. I love the crunchiosity! But Ice cream on pizza…I’m not so sure. Sound too melty to me.

  15. Hey Cheesie! Have you ever tried a swiss cheese, ketchup, pickle, and salami sandwich?! That is my specialty sandwich and my classmates go crazy for it!! Maybe I should create a stand in the cafeteria!! Hey, that sounds like a great idea! What do you think, Cheesie?

  16. Hey Cheesie! Ever had a peanut butter sandwitch with sliced apples and sliced bananas inside! I have! It’s really good! You should try it sometime! I call it a bapple, (b) for banana, and apple for….you know!

  18. Hey Chessie my friends at school put a cheeto in his PB and J sandwich. Have u ever tried that before?!?!? He said it tasted good. I doubt that very much!!!!!!!!

    • Not exactly, but I have put potato chips in a PB&J…and it was delish! It makes the sandwich sort of crunchier.

    • Ewwww! That sounds totally disgusting. Did you realize bubblegum is actually a form of synthetic rubber?

    • Georgie here…

      Sure. Yeah, that’s totally cool with me. Where do you go to school, and did your teacher like it?