Rodent Jokes (The stuff on this webpage was mentioned on page 76 in my book.)

In my book, I wrote:

I think “ratted on our Mouse Plot” is funny. If you know any other excellent rodent jokes, please go to my website and tell me. I’m building a collection of them, and maybe I can add yours.

Illustration of two boys grinning next to a locker filled with mice. A woman with crossed arms grimaces at them.

I made up a rodent joke. It is not very good, but here it is.
mouse

One of the Three Blind Mice was in court testifying against the Farmer’s Wife. He told the judge what happened, but was so nervous he said nothing about what she did with the carving knife.

“You forgot to mention details,” said the judge.

Get it? If you know a better one, please send it to me below.

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. Q: why is it so hard to use a computer?
    A: because the mouse keeps scurrying away!

  2. Hyun AE:Why do mice need oiling?Mi Hi: I dont know why?Hyun AE:Because they squeak!!!!!!!!!

  3. what did the rat say to the dancer? rattatat just like that! ( Iknow, its not funny)

  4. Mouse 1 to a sad little Mouse 2: “Why are you so blue?”

    Mouse 2: “My cheese has mold in it!”

    Mouse 1: “I guess you are what you eat.”

  5. Q-What’s yummy to eat, but not appealing?

    A-Mice crispy treats!

    //I need to work on that question…

  6. This one is really corny-

    “Knock knock”

    “Whose there?”

    “Rat.”

    “Rat who?”

    “Rat’s a good joke!”

    ~I was being weird-~

    1. C’mon!
      I didn’t know what in the world I was thinking that day!
      I had to muck candy and was think about rats-
      I think-

    2. I’m spelling things wrong today xD
      Ooooopppppssssss-
      I regret nothing-
      Rat’s because i’m fabulous.
      Your awesome- You still need to reach perfect before you get to fabulous.
      Rat’s a looooooong way to go.

    3. ^.^ I was born that way~ *waves around a magic wand*
      Plus I GAWT MAH NAME RIGHT!!!
      Annnnd for my worst one yetttt

      Q-Where do hamsters come from?!?
      A-HAMSTERDAM

      //OMG what was I thinking–

  7. Q:What did the rock say to the ruler?
    A:You rule
    Q:what did the ruler say to the rock?
    A:You Rock
    P.S:These aren’t rodent jokes. These are complements.

  8. Sorry I didnt tell you the joke.
    Knock Knock
    Who’s there?
    Ghost go.
    Ghost go who?
    No owls go who. Ghost go BOOOOOO!

  9. Q. Where do mice go to get new tails?
    A. A retail shop.
    I got this from a book so I do not take any credit for it.

  10. There was a hamster and a mouse. The hamster had broken a leg and so had the mouse. The mouse said to the hamster, ” Race you to the wheel!” somehow the hamster won the race. Guess how.

    The mouse broke it’s arm to. I just made up this joke\riddle just now.

  11. What do you call a large rodent in a barrel?

    A Capy-barrel!

    And one from Noah’s mom: What do you call a bear with a hat?

    A Capybara!

  12. What did one lab rat say to the other?
    “I’ve got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.”

  13. Q: What do you call a very descriptive mouse with no tail?

    A: A “de-tailed” mouse!

  14. What is a rodent’s favorite treat? Mice Cream! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…… Let me get over myself….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…. WHOO!

  15. here is a good joke you will have tears in your eyes!
    there was a classroom and the children were studying then the principal came inside and asked what is 50+50 so child said that the answer was 80 and the teacher clapped but why?

  16. I know this isn’t a mouse/rat joke, but I couldn’t resist…

    A man went into a hospital to visit a boy. When he talked to the nurse, she asked him how he was related to the boy. He answered with this riddle:

    Brothers and sisters I have none,
    But the boy’s father is my father’s son!!!

    Who is the man?????????

    1. My dad told me that joke about a year ago…and he wouldn’t tell me the answer until I figured it out. I actually had to draw a family tree to get the answer!

    1. That’s not actually a rodent joke. Because it could be a reptile or a marsupial exhaling and it wouldn’t change the joke.

  17. I put double post cuz i forgot to click replies to comments on my first joke. I know they aren’t that good. I take this seriously.

  18. there was a famine in the rat kingdom. The king rat said to go raid the mice village. Three days later, the knight rat is in a rice village. The knight rat dyes it yellow and eats it. “Yuck,” the knight rat said,” I wish the king sent us to the mice kingdom. We could raid their village.”

    1. We’ll, it’s not exactly a joke. I know, you know. I am actually better at writing. Can I give it another go?

  19. Several days in a row, a rabbit to a bakery and asked the cook, “Do you have any carrot cookies?” Each day the cook told him, “I’m sorry, we do not.” So the rabbit left the bakery. On the fifth day that the rabbit went into the bakery the cook finally decides to make some carrot cookies for the rabbit, because he was certain that the rabbbit would return. When the rabbit asked for the cookies, the cook replied proudly, “Yes, yes we do have carrot cookies.” But they were in a cage. When the rabbit saw that he said “you want bunny roast? I know the perfect place.” Then he led the cook to a geyser and told him, “go in there and get rabbits.” The cook went in. The geyser exploded and the cook went flying back to the bakery and he crashed through a window and fell in the cage. He couldn’t get out. The end.

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