#1-Junk Food Presentation

Georgie and I did an oral presentation in fifth grade about junk food. Like I wrote in Cheesie Mack Is Not a Genius or Anything, if you have to do an oral report, you have my permission to use this for your school presentation. (Tell me if you do by commenting below!) Of course you should tell your teacher that it comes from Cheesie Mack. Otherwise, it’s cheating… and, c’mon, you’ll probably get just as good a grade if you don’t cheat.

Here goes. I did the talking; Georgie did everything else.

.

Boys and Girls of Ms. Higgins’ fifth-grade class:

Be sure to change this to your own teacher’s name and your grade!

You’ve probably heard that you should eat foods from all of the important Food Groups like vegetables, fruits, meats, grains, and other good stuff.

This is actually a picture of a bar of soap. I found it on the internet. I asked Mom to buy me one, but she said, "No way. Too weird." (If you think you can convince your mother, click the image.)

Georgie held up a large version that we had drawn of the food pyramid, like the one above, and pointed out the various food groups. Then he showed all the kids some food we’d taken from our cafeteria lunch: peas, an apple, and a half-eaten hot dog on a bun. (There were no bites taken when we left the cafeteria. I suspect Georgie!)

That’s true if you’re thinking about good health and stuff like that. But what about junk food? There are Food Groups for junk food, too. The four Junk Food Groups are Salt, Sugar, Grease, and Starch.

Georgie poured equal amounts of salt, sugar, cooking oil, and powdered mashed potatoes into a glass bowl and mixed it. It looked like glue. He tasted it (Georgie is very adventurous!), made a face, then dumped it into the trash.

The Perfect Junk Food should have lots of all four of the Junk Food Groups and not much other so-called good stuff like protein, fiber, or vitamins.

Georgie pulled beef jerky, a shredded wheat biscuit, and chewable Flintstones out of his pocket, put one of each in his mouth, chewed, and pretend-barfed a super-gross mouthful into the trash.

How about glazed donuts? That might be a good choice. They have huge amounts of Sugar, Grease, and Starch. Also, not much good stuff. That’s three of the all-important Junk Food Groups. But they don’t have anywhere near enough Salt to qualify as the Perfect Junk Food. You can try to fix that problem…

Georgie poured a huge amount of salt on a glazed donut, took a bite, made a face, and spit it out into the trash.

…but you probably won’t like the result. After extensive research, however, we discovered there is a lot of sugar in ketchup.

Nutrition mag

Georgie held up a squeeze bottle of ketchup and a copy of a nutrition magazine. There are lots of different nutrition magazines. You can find one in the public library. The nerdier the better. You don’t actually need to read it…just show it to your audience.

Therefore, the Perfect Junk Food is French fries with ketchup. Delicious, readily available almost everywhere, and with plenty of Salt, Sugar, Grease, and Starch…the perfect balance of all four Junk Food Groups.

Georgie held up a bag of fast food French fries, doused them with huge glops of ketchup and gobbled them down. The kids in your class will cheer.


Good luck! Let me know what you did and how it turned out.
Please comment below.

Leave a Comment

But wait! Don't hit POST COMMENT yet — not until you figure out whether you want me to tell you if I respond.

Here's what you do:

1. First write your comment.

2. Then look below the POST COMMENT button. If you leave it as DON'T SUBSCRIBE, I won't notify you, and you won't know anything happened.

3. If you select REPLIES TO MY COMMENTS, I'll notify you if I or anyone else replies to any of YOUR COMMENTS on this page.

4. If you select ALL, I'll notify you about EVERY comment anyone makes on this page.

cheesie's head

And yes, you have to enter your email address — and for sure it has to be a real email address. I absolutely promise you I will NEVER use your email address for anything else. However, if you want to receive notifications about future books and stuff, you have to subscribe to my newsletter.
— Thanks, Cheesie.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. Here’s a ketchup joke: Q:One day a family of ketchup packets went for a walk, the baby ketchup fell behind and so his father told him to ‘ketchup’ LOL! this joke is so cold!

  2. Does ketchup count as junk food?

    Here’s a joke:

    Q: “The ketchup ran in a race. It was in last place. There was one lap left. How could the ketchup win?”

    A: “It had to ketchup!”

    • There really is. Read the label. In fact, on my ketchup bottle it says sugar (corn syrup) is both the second and third ingredients. I just looked up ketchup/sugar online and found articles that say one-third of ketchup is sugar! Even more interesting, a teaspoon of ketchup has 20 calories and 16 of them come from sugar! There is lots of water in ketchup, too, so, maybe there is more sugar than tomato?

  3. I LLLOOOOVVVVEEE ketchup. My record is drinking 3 packets (including opening) in 7 seconds. Me and my friend dared each other to drink hot sauce. Both of us waved our hands frantically and speed walked to the water dispenser!

  4. Try making a donut with 100 boxes of sprinkles on them.After you will not want to eat a donut again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Bwahahahahahahahahahahah ok i am so weirded out right now so try it and you will know how good it is Bye