#1-Rodent Jokes

In my book, I wrote:

I think “ratted on our Mouse Plot” is funny. If you know any other excellent rodent jokes, please go to my website and tell me. I’m building a collection of them, and maybe I can add yours.

I made up a rodent joke. It is not very good, but here it is.

One of the Three Blind Mice was in court testifying against the Farmer’s Wife. He told the judge what happened, but was so nervous he said nothing about what she did with the carving knife.

“You forgot to mention details,” said the judge.

Get it? If you know a better one, please send it to me below.

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. Why did the mouse think the study of the moon was boring???

    Because it was very cheesy!!!!!

  2. I took my rodent called jim on an airplane in the fall and had gotten some jell-o for him to eat while i went to the restroom. While I was turning off the faucet i dropped my barette out of my purse in the garbage can and when i looked in it, I saw jim in it eating some french fries!

  3. Melville says squeak squeak chitter chitter brrrrrp (he’s a hamster).

    Here are some jokes:
    What did the Dutch pet shop owner spread on his toast?
    Hamster-jam!

    What do cats eat in the summer?
    Mice cream!

    What’s a hamster’s favourite biscuit?
    Hammie Dodgers!

    What do you get if you get if you put a mouse in the washing machine?
    Squeaky-clean washing!

    What is grey, has 4 legs and a trunk?
    A mouse going on holiday!

    What goes dash-dash-squeak-dash-dash-squeak?
    Mouse code!

    What is grey and furry and goes buzz buzz?
    A mouse-quito!

    I went to a pet shop and there was a hamster in the window. It was literally *in* the window, stuck between the two panes of glass!

    P.S. These jokes are English and some of them use English words (used in England) for things like trunk and jam.

    Melville also says don’t forget to party!

    • These are really good, except I don’t get the one about Hammie Dodgers. I guess it’s some kind of British cookie (biscuit). I really like the Morse Code one.

  5. I know that this is lame, but…

    What is a rat’s favorite food?

    Mouse-arella cheese!

    It’s his favo-rat food, get it?

  9. I know,I know,it’s lame.I thoutit up in two minutis.Edie is my sister.tell me what you think of that!oh,I wanted a better reply!

  11. what happened when the rodent grabed the cat’s tail? it “tailed” away!is that good?

    • What does tailed away mean? And why is it funny?
      Sorry, but my sense of humor says “not so funny.”.

  12. what did the mouse say when a rat told on him?'”Ive been ratted on!!!”is it good or not? tell me.

    • It’s okay, but not so original. It’s almost the same as what I wrote in my book. (See beginning of this page.)

  13. what did the mouse say to the computer when the mouse of the computer was not there he said hey where is your mouse friend

  14. well this isnt really in the rodent range but its worth a shot!!!

    How do you make a tisssue dance???

    You but a little buggy in it!!

  15. Why do elephants only own laptops?

    because they’re afraid of the mouse!

  17. There was once a rat that Ratted on a mouse. When they went to court the rat said that the mouse caused an accident but the mouse responded”When I heard a noise I leaned over but of course I’m blind and as they say for dogs ‘If your bark is worse than your bite then your not bitting hard enough’ so this rat is a talker and he can’t take a joke that I am a moose!” the crowd grew silent and the judge asked ” your a moose?” ” see you can;t take a joke!”

  20. What did one lab rat say to the other?
    “I’ve got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the
    buzzer, he brings me a snack.”