Cheesie Mack

Rodent Jokes (The stuff on this webpage was mentioned on page 76 in my book.)

In my book, I wrote:

I think “ratted on our Mouse Plot” is funny. If you know any other excellent rodent jokes, please go to my website and tell me. I’m building a collection of them, and maybe I can add yours.

Illustration of two boys grinning next to a locker filled with mice. A woman with crossed arms grimaces at them.

I made up a rodent joke. It is not very good, but here it is.
mouse

One of the Three Blind Mice was in court testifying against the Farmer’s Wife. He told the judge what happened, but was so nervous he said nothing about what she did with the carving knife.

“You forgot to mention details,” said the judge.

Get it? If you know a better one, please send it to me below.

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. how is a hamster and a cigaret alike?
    it is unhealthy to put them in your mouth and lite them on fire.

  4. Cats eat mice eat cheese, cheesie look out for mice because tonight they have Mack and cheesie for for lunch today

  6. A mouse is walking on the sidewalk and sees another mouse with a weird shirt. The no-shirt mouse says to the mouse with the shirt, “Buddy, that shirt is just cheesy.”

  7. Once upon a time there was a boy called Wendy. He was britisly and had a squashy forehead. His parents were called Cleef and Daffyon. One morning he wanted to wake up his friend Snowbell by lissing on her with his strawberry lip-balmed mouth, but then he renembered ‘hey not about the Snowbell, she might be hitchy!’

    4. I THINK YOU’LL FIND IT DOES ACTUALLY ‘CHEESIE’ IT’S INSPIRED, I THINK WHOEVER WROTE THIS HAS A BRIGHT FUTURE IN COMEDY

    2. This is also not technically a rodent joke either Cheesie, due to the fact that the animal in question could also be a marsupial etc., and it “wouldn’t change the joke”

  9. A mother cat says to her kitten, “It’s time for you to know how to steal prey from others, dear.” and the kitten leaves. Later, the kitten finds a mouse and takes it. The mouse had an extremely long tail, so the kitten bites off the tail. (It tasted REALLY weird.) She brought the mouse to her mom and said, “Mom! I stole the computer’s mouse!”

  10. A rabbit comes to a bakery, and asks the cook, “Do you have any carrot cookies?” The cook answers, “I’m sorry, we do not.” So the rabbit leaves the bakery. The next day, the rabbit returns and asks the cook, “Do you have any carrot cookies?” Once again, the cook answered that no, they did not have any carrot cookies. The rabbit once again leaves the bakery. The cook finally decides to make some carrot cookies for the rabbit, because he was certain that the rabbbit would return. The rabbit did return the next day, and once more asked, “Do you have any carrot cookies?” And the cook replied proudly, “Yes, yes we do have carrot cookies.” And the rabbit answered, “That’s just disgusting.” and then the rabbit left the bakery for good. (After buying carrot cake.)

  11. A mother mouse and a son mouse were walking in a cave there was a bat flying around. Then the little mouse said, “Look an angel

  12. When “goon” is about to wake up put a rat on her face!! And voila!!! Goon freaks and you are in you’re room “sleeping”

  13. This one isn’t about rodents but its a brain teaser about cheese. The more swiss cheese, the more holes. But the more holes, the less cheese. But the less cheese, the less holes. But the less holes, the more cheese. The more cheese, the more holes. Et. c. …

  14. What are crisp, like milk and go ‘eek, eek, eek’ when you eat them?
    Mice Krispies!

    1. I completely agree. That’s why everyone at camp hoots and shouts when Uncle Bud starts to tell it!

  18. this a ghost rodent okay why do ghosht rodents make good cheerleaders anwser: because they are good spirts

    1. You are right. I’ve read they can weigh over 100 pounds. That’s no joke. That’s a big mouse!

  21. Q: Why do the three blind mice avoid Microsoft?
    A: Because they don’t want to get stuck on computers.

  22. Q: Why did the hamster roll in the mud?

    A: Because he thought he was a “pig”!

    🙂

  23. mine is: Hey lets put my brother in a bag of mice, but to get him in this bag we are going to have to be one.

  25. the mouse was taking his class picture yesterday. the photographer said,”everyone say i ate all the cheese!” the mouse fell to his knees and yelled,”WHY! WHY!”

    why did the mouse like saturday and sunday? It was the squeak-end!

  27. This is another Rodent Joke:

    Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?
    A: I’ve got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.

  28. My joke is Q: What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
    A: A mouseketeer

  30. what time is it when a elaphant sits on your fence ……………..time for you to get a new fence

  32. Here is my rodent joke:What did the 50 pound mouse say when he walked into the alley? Here kitty kitty kitty.

  33. say you want to pack goon a snack and then put a frog in it put the frog in here sandwich and make a hole in jucie and in the bage so she looks like she peed and say why would i ever pack goon a snack

  34. Here is my rodent joke: So, there was a very poor man who had lots of mice in his house. All he had was a mouse trap and a picture of cheese( he couldn’t afford a cat or a piece of cheese). The man stuck the picture of the cheese into the mouse trap and all the mice were trapped because they thought it was real cheese!! HAHAHA… hope you like it Cheesie.

    1. That’s not a joke. It’s a story! You should write it and turn it in at school. I think it’s very creative…and kind of sad. Really clever!

  35. the rodent was walking down the street and got hit by a car and then he was roadkill not rodent

    1. Ha ha! I love that one.
      What has grey skin, four legs, and NO trunk? An elephant with a nose job!

  38. A kid asks his mother where is Taj Mahal
    she said I don’t know.Then the kid asked his mom where is the
    empire state building the mom said I don’t know then the kid
    again asked his mom where is the Efel tower the mom said I don’t know.Then the mom said come on ask more questions if you don’t ask how are you gonna get the knowledge. ha ha ha.
    ps im your biggest fan.

    1. That is exactly right for Granpa. He would like that joke. (Except it’s not long enough for him.)

  39. Heres another good one (I will tell Mrs.Stevenson u say Hi!)
    Nothing to do with rodents, sorry.
    Why doesnt the skeleton cross the road? (Skeleton 1) why doesnt the 2 skeleton cross the road? And why doesnt the third skeleton cross the road? Answer 1: he didnt have the guts. Answer 2: He didnt have the brains. Answer 3: He didnt have the heart.

    1. I love this because you have described Dorothy’s friends in the Wizard of Oz. The Lion had not guts (courage). The Scarecrow had no brains. The Tin Man had no heart.

  41. your grandma walks into your room she steps on something and says what is this she gives a big scream and faints what do you do do what she did or pour water on her or see what it is so you choose number 3 you look at it it is a rat all the sudden you choose number one you think that is the right thing you think

  42. what happened to the rat when when it walked in the sea it suffocated and turned into sea kill

    3. haha kaity (can I call you kaity? Ima call you kaity) your jokes are the only ones that I actually appreciate. Keep up the good work.

  44. Hey Cheesie, I love your books, maybe you can come to CCS again!! You know Mrs.Stevenson? She is the best library teacher EVER!!!! I like cheese! Cheesie that is! Heres the joke. (It doesnt have anything to do with rodents sorry) Two Nuns walk into a hotel and faint the receptionist jumps up and runs to her boss, “Boss, two nuns fainted in the lobby.” He does nothing. “Arent you going to do something?” He replies, ” i am waiting for the punchline.” HEHEHE!!

    1. I really liked coming to CCS…and you are right about about Mrs. S!
      When I read your joke, I fainted.
      (Now you can wait for the punchline!)

  45. this onr dosent involve rodents bet its pretty funny!!
    Me: Whats your name?
    You: Cheesie
    Me: How do you spell it?
    You: C-H-E-E-S-I-E
    Me: No!! spell it
    You: C-H-E-E-S-I-E
    Me: No its spelt I-T!!

    1. I told that joke to Granpa. Here’s what he said:

      That is such an old joke. I heard it when I was a kid. Except we used to say,

      “Railroad crossing, look out for the cars.
      Can you spell it without any R’s?”

  49. Cheesie, at what time do you reply at?
    Why do you need the email address?
    Will you come to ccs again?

    Is that you and Gorgie in the piture.
    He is tall!

    1. I don’t reply at the same time. It all depends on when I am not writing a book or working on homework or playing.
      I may come to CCS again, but not this year.
      Yes, that is me and Georgie. He is the tallest boy in sixth grade, but Mrs. Crespo is kinda short.

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