In my book, I wrote:
I think “ratted on our Mouse Plot” is funny. If you know any other excellent rodent jokes, please go to my website and tell me. I’m building a collection of them, and maybe I can add yours.
I made up a rodent joke. It is not very good, but here it is.
One of the Three Blind Mice was in court testifying against the Farmer’s Wife. He told the judge what happened, but was so nervous he said nothing about what she did with the carving knife.
“You forgot to mention details,” said the judge.
Get it? If you know a better one, please send it to me below.
not the best mole joke
Sweet jokes:)
:):):):)
How does a mole get mail?
The moleman!
I like this joke and am going to leave it…even though I mole is not a rodent. (I looked it up.)
What did Cheesie mean by add the cents of two bits?
It’s a mystery…but maybe another commenter can figure it out.
Hey Cheesie can you ask Steve Cotler how old he is… I really want to know. Please respond Cheesie. 🙂
Here’s what he said: “Take the number of original colonies in America, add the number of legs on an arachnid, multiply by the number of land-locked countries in South America, and add the cents in two bits. That’s how old I am.”
He’s weird.
What does he mean by add the cents of two bits
Thats 67 right?
It is! But here’s what’s weird. I know Granpa is way more than 70. So I think he was lying about his age.
Why do rats hate catterpillers and toast? Because they turn in to butter-flies!
I bet you made this one up!
Catterpiller wanna go for a walk? Do you want to go for a walk? I heard you the first time I was putting on my shoes!
I don’t get it.
Why was the mouse mad at Goon? Because she ratted him out!
Great joke. Goon will hate it!
There were 2 mice and one said”Do you like my shirt?”.”No,it is the most ugliest thing I’ve ever seen”the other mouse replied.Then the other mouse said” CHEESE you didn’t have to be so mean”
Ha-chee-ha.
” Grandpa, you use the mouse to go where you want to go on a computer.” Joey said. “I ain’t touchin’ that rodent!!!” said Grandpa.
Diary of a wimpy kid
Rodents are in lots of kids’ books, aren’t they? I wonder why…
What’s a baby rodent’s favourite toy? A rat-tle!!!!!
Good one!!
What’s a rat’s favorite restaurant?
RATtatouille?
What are squirrels favorite ballet?
The Nutcracker.
Good one! Goon loves ballet. She’d really like this joke. (But I’m not going to tell her.)
There are 2 kids that are eating some ice cream out on the street. One of the kids’ ice cream falls on the floor,” Rats!” the kid says. At the same time, a rat underground drops his dead beetle and says,” Humans!”
Ha! That is really clever.
I also have another one that’s not related to rodents: There’s a girl and a boy getting their picture taken at a party. They both say,”CHEESE!” At the same time in another world, there are 2 pieces of cheese saying,”HUMANS!”
Come on! Everyone knows Cheesie (I mean Cheese) can’t talk!
Aww…come on! You gotta admit, it’s a pretty good joke!
Yeah cheesie Taylor s.chhay is right that is a good joke two on one who gets ten votes wins and plus i am Taylor s.chhays friend
Okay, we’ll see who else votes on whether this is funny or not.
A small rodent with a long tail was scared about a fight it was going to have with a cat later. To inspire it to have some courage its friend asked ‘are you a man or a mouse?’
Ha ha ha, this is the funniest joke I have ever heard in my entire life! You are so witty it’s unbelievable!
“Q:Why do mice and rats never go to ponds?
A: They don’t want to risk seeing a cat-tail!”
-Jenny
Ha Ha! Georgie and I had a cattail sword fight once in the creek between our houses.
Q:What did the snake say to the mouse?
A:I wish I had whissssssssssssssskers like you have.
Sssssso good. I like this joke!
“Hey that mouse took my wallet!”
“That’s not a mouse its RATTING you out!”
I don’t get it. Sorry.
i get it they are saying a MOUSE took there wallet, but then they say a MOUSE didnt steal your wallet a RAT did….or at least i assume that is what they r going for
(This one isn’t that excellent)
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak…
Here’s Another one (not so excellent)
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?
Mice Cubes
WHAT DOES CHEESE TASTE LIKE TO MICE?
IT’S WHISKER LICKIN GOOD
That’s a good one!
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole.
They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the
country.
The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and
said, “Mmmmm, I smell sausage.”
The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and
said “Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes.”
The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole
but couldn’t because of the two bigger moles.
The baby mole said, “The only thing I can smell is molasses
Haha! Wow! Funny!
If this joke disappears from my website, you’ll know my mom was on the prowl.
i dont rly get it
umm its ffunny but a little innapproiate
You’re probably right.
Knock,Knock
Who’s there?
Mice
Mice who?
Mice to see you.
That is a really good joke! Even Granpa will laugh at it!
question:why did the oppossum cross the road? answer:to get to the house on the other side!
That’s not a rodent joke either! Opossums are marsupials. (Isn’t opossum a weird looking word?)
What did king tut say when he got scared? i want my mummy!
That’s not a rodent joke (but it’s kind of funny).
Whats brown, has 4 legs and a trunk?
A mouse coming back from vacation.
HAHA! I really like this one.
a rat was wrighting a story he finished and showed it to his mom she said thats way to cheesie!!
Hey, Cheesie I’m 19 years old and I’m giving you my rodent joke which is:
Q:What did the mouse say when he got his picture taken?
A:Cheesie!
What did the Rat say to the Angry Rat?
Stop it, don’t get ratty.
A KID IN MY CLASS GRABED THE CLASS HAMSTER AND BUT IN MY BEST RENDS SHERT SHE SKREMED SO LOUD THAT THE HAMSTER GOT SKARED AND JUMPED OUT OF HER SHERTY AND I CALT IT EVERY ONE WAS LAFING LOL
wow u rly dont know how to spell
Hehehe
TRANSLATION:
A kid in my class grabbed the hamster but in my best friends shirt she screamed so loud that the hamster got scared and jumped out of her shirt and I called it and everyone was laughing.
What does a rat hate?
*Cat*-astrophe
get it?
Good one!
Why did the mouse think the study of the moon was boring???
Because it was very cheesy!!!!!
Not exactly. It was Cheesie!
I took my rodent called jim on an airplane in the fall and had gotten some jell-o for him to eat while i went to the restroom. While I was turning off the faucet i dropped my barette out of my purse in the garbage can and when i looked in it, I saw jim in it eating some french fries!
My rat Cody eats everything- my math homework, my popsicle, my sneakers, my soccer ball, an eggplant, my eraser, my plushies, my sweater, even my flashlight!
THIS IS THE BEST JOKE I’VE EVER HEARD! YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO FUNNY
Oh McKInleey-Brittanie you jokesta, you is totes hilaire
It is not! You are kidding me.
Melville says squeak squeak chitter chitter brrrrrp (he’s a hamster).
Here are some jokes:
What did the Dutch pet shop owner spread on his toast?
Hamster-jam!
What do cats eat in the summer?
Mice cream!
What’s a hamster’s favourite biscuit?
Hammie Dodgers!
What do you get if you get if you put a mouse in the washing machine?
Squeaky-clean washing!
What is grey, has 4 legs and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday!
What goes dash-dash-squeak-dash-dash-squeak?
Mouse code!
What is grey and furry and goes buzz buzz?
A mouse-quito!
I went to a pet shop and there was a hamster in the window. It was literally *in* the window, stuck between the two panes of glass!
P.S. These jokes are English and some of them use English words (used in England) for things like trunk and jam.
Melville also says don’t forget to party!
These are really good, except I don’t get the one about Hammie Dodgers. I guess it’s some kind of British cookie (biscuit). I really like the Morse Code one.
what are these American ‘cookies’?! Tell me s’more!
I really LOVED the what do cats eat in the summer one.
Whats A Squirrels favorite ballet?
The NuttCracker
That’s terrif! I kind of forgot for a moment that squirrels are rodents.
I know that this is lame, but…
What is a rat’s favorite food?
Mouse-arella cheese!
It’s his favo-rat food, get it?
Lame? No way! I think it’s really funny.
its so lame
What is a cats favorite dessert?
Mice Crispy Treats
OH, GREAT!
This is a terrific joke!
Q:what did the cat say to the mouse?
A: Who cut the cheese?!
hi!!! hi cheesie!!
I know,I know,it’s lame.I thoutit up in two minutis.Edie is my sister.tell me what you think of that!oh,I wanted a better reply!
If your sister Edie’s name is Edith, that’s great because my mom’s name is Edith, too…and my dad calls her Edie. You can look at my family tree.
http://cheesiemack.com/family-tree/
Edith is not a very common name, I think.
WHAT DID THE MOUSE EAT FOR DINNER?
CHEESIE MAC
Hey! Stop chewing on me! (Actually, it’s a good joke.)
what happened when the rodent grabed the cat’s tail? it “tailed” away!is that good?
What does tailed away mean? And why is it funny?
Sorry, but my sense of humor says “not so funny.”.
what did the mouse say when a rat told on him?'”Ive been ratted on!!!”is it good or not? tell me.
It’s okay, but not so original. It’s almost the same as what I wrote in my book. (See beginning of this page.)
what did the mouse say to the computer when the mouse of the computer was not there he said hey where is your mouse friend
well this isnt really in the rodent range but its worth a shot!!!
How do you make a tisssue dance???
You but a little buggy in it!!
Why do elephants only own laptops?
because they’re afraid of the mouse!
hahahhahhahah thats a good one!!!
I like this joke!
where does a mouse without a tail go?
the retail store
That is an awesome joke! My dad will love it!
There was once a rat that Ratted on a mouse. When they went to court the rat said that the mouse caused an accident but the mouse responded”When I heard a noise I leaned over but of course I’m blind and as they say for dogs ‘If your bark is worse than your bite then your not bitting hard enough’ so this rat is a talker and he can’t take a joke that I am a moose!” the crowd grew silent and the judge asked ” your a moose?” ” see you can;t take a joke!”
what did the rat say to the computer?
nice mouse
Ha! Good one.
What did the mouse say when he dropped his cookie?
RATS
Ha ha! Very funny.
What did one lab rat say to the other?
“I’ve got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the
buzzer, he brings me a snack.”
Good one! Thanks, Chloe. I’m going to tell that one to my dad.