Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series
- Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
- Unusual grandparent nicknames.
- Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
- Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
- Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
- Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
- Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
- Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
- The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
- Cool words that sound like what they mean.
- Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
- Vote for your favorite food.
- How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
- Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
- What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
- Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
- Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
- Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
- Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
- The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
- The title of my next book.
- Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
- All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
- Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)
Read from my book
Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series
The Original Cover
The original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)
There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.
Part of my book you can read now!
Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams
The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.
“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.
I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.
If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.
I left Alaska out because it’s too big.
Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.
Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.
Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.
Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)
Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.
I told you he has terrific ideas!
Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:
- I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
- I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
- I did not help pull back the rubber part.
I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.
I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.
I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)
His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.
I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.
“I found something big! Really big!”
There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.
I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)
Georgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.
I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.
Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.
“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—
Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”
“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”
He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.
“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”
“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”
I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.
“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.
Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.
I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.
(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)
I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”
That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”
One of us said, “Whoa.”
I don’t remember who.
End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out
end of excerpt
Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
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What People Are Saying About My Book:
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“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”
“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”
— Kirkus Reviews
“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”
— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books
“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”
Comments from my Readers & Friends
Comments are closed.
good book so far did ypur Grandpa really get his foot smashed?
Not Granpa! It’s my dad who has the fake foot.
i love your books i realy liked it when you came to North Lake thankyou!
Thanks a lot! It was fun.
I thought your book was okay. You put in too much quotes. Other than that, it was wonderful.
“Too much quotes”? What do you mean? Too many kids talking?
I loved it when steve cotler came to our school!(nipomo elementry school) I love your book!
Go Nipomo Tigers!
hey I love your book
Thanks! Did you know there’s a town in New Jersey with you same name?
Yo wat up cheesie love the BOOK
Yo…wat up?
Me. I’m up early, writing back to you!
i think your book is cooly wiered
I think you are weirdly cool for saying that!
Hi do you remember me from north lake hills elementary school? my name is Danny ortega
Sure I do!
sup cheesie i heard u are planning on being in 2 more books being made right now is this true?
The second book is here: http://cheesiemack.com/next-book/
And I am writing book number three right now!
I think this book is funny and creative the ideas Steve Cotler had for his Chessie Mack is not a genius or anything. I like this book
Thank you for your compliment. It was fun writing the book.
Hi everybody. this is the real Alex Welch and his sidekick Andrew from Wiley Canyon.
It was weird for me to meet someone who has the exact same name as a guy in my book.
Can you come to my school @Nutley,New Jersey,South Spring Garden or School Lane,Spring Garden
If you want me to come to your school, have your teacher or principal go to http://www.stevecotler.com/events.php
True sorry I still love your book your my role model
LOVE THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
We would like to thank Steve Cotler for visiting our school and sharing his Cheesie Mack book with our class. We have been reading all about Cheesie and Georgie, we are on Chapter 8, and can’t wait to read more about their adventures! We hope he can come back when his next book is released!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Paredes’ 4th grade class at Wiley Canyon Elementary
p.s. we are the class that has the “real” Alex Welch”!
Hooray for Mrs. P’s class! I am really glad I met all of you. Go Wiley Canyon!
I loved the book and i’ve met the writer of this book he came to my school!
hey your comming to my school i go to Wiley Canyon
I love your book because it is sooooooooooo…….. funny!XP
Thanks very Muuuuuch!
Cheesie, do you have a CRUSH ON LANA?
(ps, i think u do!)
No. No. and No.
I like ur book the first one because I like funny thing
Thanks! It’s so neat to have people liking my book in so many different states!
why are you being soooooooooooooo confusing?!?!?!?! if you are fictional how did you make this website?? (did you know that the winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagra falls froze? I’m not jokig!!!)
If I am a fictional character, how can I answer this comment? And this website would be fictional, too. But here it is…and here I am, so what does that all mean?
Tell Georgie about it too
chessie can you come to orrs elementary in griffin,georgia please
shamuel that was mean to say to chessie
Let’s face it… I have, instead of I’ve? Really? If you want to seem like an awesome 5th grade graduate, use grammer that most people use.
Who are you correcting? Me or one of the other kids who comment? I
don’tdo not know to what you are referring.I think
it’sit is important to be nice online.And BTW, grammar is spelled with an A.
Yeah, I was correcting you. I’m not trying to be rude or anything. Also, I do know how to spell grammar. In 7th grade, kids on the internet misspell things on purpose.
No problem. We’re cool.
Cheesie,remember me?Jake?Well I’m a big fan of yours!Just read book again.Do you know about something called Minecraft?You can build and it’s really cool.I have it!You should get it and tell Gerogie,too!Cant wait intil Is Cool In a Duel omes out!Peace and comment back,bro!
I never heard of Minecraft, but I looked it up online. Looks cool.
ever heard of PORTAL 2?
Did you tell georgie about it?
I actually do not play video games. They take up a lot of time that I need to write my books.
Minecraft is REALLY fun, you should try it!
hi cheesie i am a 4th grader and i loved your book happy new years
I liked 4th grade a lot. And fifth grade was even better. I’m in sixth now.
Just wondering…do you ever get tired of all the fans, going to schools. responding to posts on your site,and all the other stuff you do, and just want to relax or do you already relax?
Maybe someday I’ll get tired of this…but NOT YET. It’s fun!
It does seem fun to do all the things that you do so i guess i would want to keep doing if i was you….:D
I LOVE this book! I can’t believe it’s based on only 3 days!!
Yep! Just three days.
Really??? Only 3 days?
Hey Cheesie, my class is reading your book right now
it’s really funny. Were at the part where you are letting the mice out into the field.
P.S. Really cool book!!!!!
Really cool comment! Thanks.
When you said,
5.I am a very fast runner. I think fastest in my class, but I haven’t actually raced every kid.
I thought of me because I am a very fast runner too! and when you said that being 11 is cool, I also want to tell you 11 if fun!
That’s very cool because I think my third book is going to be called Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
I loved your book and cannot wait for the other one!
I was having a drab day. Then I read your comment…and the sun came out. (Not really…but thanks, anyway.)
every 1 in my class loves it
Great! Maybe I could come to your school and talk about my book. If your teacher is interested, have her go to http://www.stevecotler.com and email me.
the book is f.u.n.n.y cant wait 4 the next cheesie mack
my teacher is reading cheesie mack to us every time at read aloud
Hey! By the way you came to my school called Stevrnson Ranch Elementry school. I really like this book!
I had fun at your school. It’s very beautiful there.
Its so EEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC! (EPIC!)
I aaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (agree)
We loved the book, and were so greatful for your visit. My class looks forward to reading the next of Cheesie Mack adventures…
I had a great time in Tulsa! I will come back when the next book comes out. You can see the cover on this page. Hello to the Fantastic Fours!
luv the book…………………but when u realize the s on the penny and that it costs 95$ , Georgie wants 2 go 2 6 flags what would it cost 2 get 2 ca b-cuz 6 flags is in ca and u r in mass??????? BTW good book
You are a pretty good detective to spot what seemed like my weird-out…but hey! There’s a Six Flags in MA, too! Only 2+ hours from my house. And my dad would’ve taken us because he likes the rides, too.
oh cool
i loved your book i’m still not QUITE finished yet but it’s really good
Thanks! Comment again when you’re finished.
I think you have to write another book. Lots of children would love it!
I have! It’s Cheesie Mack Is Cool in a Duel. The cover is on this page. And I’m working on book #3.
What is the plot of ‘Cheesie Mack In Cool in a Duel’?
All I can tell you is right here:
http://cheesiemack.com/next-book/
Do you know what book #3 is going to be about?
Of course! I’m writing it right now. It’s about what happened to me & Georgie during the first three weeks of 6th grade.
I really love your book!(since now) I can’t wait for the next chapter.
Also, I want to be a author like you!
Glad to hear it. I absolutely think being an author is fun!
What up Cheesie!
What up!
Your book is funny and i like it.i know that in the first chater it is chapter zero.
I thought it would be funny to have a zero chapter.
I LOVED your book!!!! It’s my fave so far!!!
Thanks. I bet you’ve read lots, so that’s a pretty big deal for me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR CHEESIE!!!!!!!! I hope 2012 is going to be awesome!!!! I’m looking forward to your new book!!!!!!
HAPPY! NEW! YEAR! Cheesie!
Is Random House random?
Good question. I guess I’ll wait and see.
Hey people this is an awesome website
Thanks! I had a lot of help from my Aunt Brenda.
http://cheesiemack.com/family-tree/#brenda