Cheesie Mack

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

Here are all the links I promised I would put on my website:

  1. Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
  2. Unusual grandparent nicknames.
  3. Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
  4. Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
  5. Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
  6. Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
  7. Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
  8. Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
  9. The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
  10. Cool words that sound like what they mean.
  11. Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
  12. Vote for your favorite food.
  13. How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
  14. Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
  15. What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
  16. Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
  17. Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
  18. Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
  19. Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
  20. The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
  21. The title of my next book.
  22. Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
  23. All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
  24. Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

The Original Cover

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or AnythingThe original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)

There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.

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Part of my book you can read now!

Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams

The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.

“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.

I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.

If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.

I left Alaska out because it’s too big.

Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.

Map of the US with a star on Massachusets

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Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.

Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.

Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)

Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.

I told you he has terrific ideas!

Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:

  1. I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
  2. I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
  3. I did not help pull back the rubber part.

I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.

Georgie launching a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, onto my sister's head.

I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.

I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)

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His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.

I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.

“I found something big! Really big!”

There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.

I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)

GeorgieGeorgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.Cheesie

Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.

“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—

Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”

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“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”

He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.

“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”

“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”

I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.

“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.

Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.

I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)

I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”A really old penny! (From 1909)

That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”

One of us said, “Whoa.”

I don’t remember who.

End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out

Excerpt copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Adam McCauley. Published by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

end of excerpt

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

is available in the following formats:

Random House

May 22, 2011

ISBN-10: 0375864377

ISBN-13: 9780375864377

Digital:

Hardcover:

Paperback:

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What People Are Saying About My Book:

Read or write reviews on Goodreads →

“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”

— Publishers Weekly

“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”

— Kirkus Reviews

“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”

— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”

— School Library Journal

Comments from my Readers & Friends

    1. Not yet, because just today I finally got a look at the new cover from my publisher! I’ll put it on my website soon.

  14. You book is super funny and I got it signed.He also went to my school.He read us part of the book and told us about the second book.When he read us chapter 0 he imitated everything that Gorgie was going to do at the graduation ceremony.thanks for the book.I’m looking forward to reading the second book.AndI can’t wait to read the third book.

  15. Hi I am in Miss.Magnents class and we are reading your first book and I love it its so cool. Thanks for visiting our school last year I love this book so much!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. i love it my teacher is reading us the first book and we are on chapter 3 and i am soooooooo excited that you are coming to my school on 9/28/2012

  18. hey cheesie, I looooooooooved your book!!! Just like erica, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease respond!!! And can you bring Georgie’s opinion on some things? thanks.

    1. I have an opinion on lots of things, but Cheesie doesn’t always let me type on his computer because he is mostly always writing.

  19. i love your book so much the best book i read erica……………………………………..please please please write back.

  20. I love your books.You inspired me to be an author when I grow up.You are coming in my classroom.I am in forth grade ,I live in Sutton. I will see you soon. I hope to read your new book. Thank you.

    Sincerely,
    Noah

  23. for the list of cool words petrified (did i spell that correctly)-frozen of fear shocked still a pet that just got a total makeover and is in a pet talent show

  25. Hi, it’s Grace again I have my friend Emily here, she wants to know how long it took you to write your first Cheesie Mack book.Emily’s brother likes cheese alot.And Emily thinks her brother has a cheesey brain.And Emily wants to read your books.And Emily is typing on the computer right now,hi!peace out homeys. sincerly,Grace and Emily

  26. hi,I was one of the fourth graders with Mrs.Moss that wrote to you and said your book was splenderful!It is, I’ve only read to chapter three and I think your book is really AWESOME….and COOL!!!!!I can’t wait to read the rest and I’m looking forward for you to come to Warner!I also am going to try and get an atograghed book. see you soon, Grace Jester

    1. Thanks, Maddy…Maddie…Maddee…Mad-E…Mad-D.
      (I think there are lots of ways to spell it, but I don’t know how you do it!)

  30. I am a student from Warner Elementry and i am very exited your coming. I am a big fan of your writing.I am reading your first book right now and so far i’m loving it. I’m counting off the days till you coming,every day that goes by the more i get exited! See you soon!!

  31. i am a student from warner elementy and my friends and i are super excited that your coming visit us. i have never heard of your book series but i cant wait to read one of your books. i am a huge book worm and i always get excited when i find a new book series to read. it usually keeps me busy for a couple weeks. my librian mrs. moss told me that your books were going to be on the horned toad tale list,and i know ill be voting for your books. thank you so much for writing these books and i look foward to reading every page of every book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Hello for the last time! I am with a cool group of 4th and 5th graders and we think your book is NOT totally lame!! We actually think it is very clever, and splenderful! Thanks for writing it! See you soon!
    Mrs. Moss and 4th and 5th grade

  33. Hello again for the 6th time today (but not the last)! I am with some epic 5th grders (their words)…and we are checking out your website. It’s sweet..super cool…boss…beast! That’s good! See you soon,
    5th grade and Mrs. Moss

  34. Hello! It’s Mrs. Moss again…I am with a fun group of 4th graders and they want to say “Wazz up?” We are excited to meet you in a few weeks! awesome website!
    Mrs. Moss and 4th grade

    1. Well, Mrs. Moss, I always spell it, “wassup?”

      To me it’s just one word because that’s the way it sounds. (But I don’t know if I’m writing it right. And since I’m a writer, I should write right…Right?)

      And I’m going to be at your school in much less than a “few weeks.” It’s only 13 days from right now!

    1. Totally? Really?

      Nothing in it is worth anything? Wow! That’s harsh. What was bad? What didn’t you like?

      As my teacher says, “constructive criticism can be very helpful.”

  36. Me AGAIN! I am with another group of excited 4th graders and we are looking at your really “cheesie” website! (a 9 year old came up with that!) Just wanted to say “Hi!” and see you soon.
    Mrs. Moss and 4th grade

  37. Hello! Me again… now I am with a group of 4th graders and we are looking forward to seeing you! 4th grade says “Your website is really awesome”! Can’r wait to see you!
    Mrs. Moss and 4th grade

  38. Hello! Mrs. Moss again with another group of 5th graders who are excited for your arrival. We are checking out your amazing websites and are excited about your visit. See you soon!
    5th grade and Mrs. Moss

  39. I am with a group of 5th graders from Warner Elem. and we are checking out your awesome website! The kids wanted to tell you “Hi!” and we are excited to meet you soon!
    Mrs. Moss and 5th grade

  40. My bday was August 17 and I just finished the first book. It is so awesome! I can’t wait to get the second!

    1. Thanks, Olivia! I am going to schools all over the country this year…including South Carolina. Maybe I can come to yours!

  43. Your book is so totally awesome! It’s filled with humor. I have read them out of order but I quickly got the hang of it. Thank you!

  45. Your book is sick Chee!(Just an expression) I thought about writing a book too! Do you watch “The Three Stooges”? I’ll call you Chee now!

    1. ‘Course you can call me Chee. I like it. And, yeah, I’ve watched the Stooges. I think they’re sick!

  46. Hey Cheesie I use to go to Warner but then I moved so maybe you can think about Willbern Elementary (i will be in fith grade) the librians name is Mrs.Bissey. please come to Willbern please :):):):):):):)

    ps your book is great

    pps i havr only read the first book

  47. wow cheesie your book is amazing i read it for ntb (name that book) a competition that you have to ntb such a fun competition

    2. you have to read a lot of books then a librian will read parts from a book and your team has to guess the book

  48. the first book, when i read the preview, it was very easy to follow, while the other wasn’t. also the first book is the alpha 🙂 while the rest are followers. this book proves it exactly

    1. So, Jay Mac, I guess you’re saying you like the first book much better than the second. Is that right? I wonder what you’ll think of the third…which comes out next year.

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