Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series
- Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
- Unusual grandparent nicknames.
- Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
- Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
- Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
- Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
- Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
- Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
- The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
- Cool words that sound like what they mean.
- Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
- Vote for your favorite food.
- How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
- Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
- What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
- Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
- Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
- Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
- Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
- The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
- The title of my next book.
- Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
- All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
- Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)
Read from my book
Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series
The Original Cover
The original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)
There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.
Part of my book you can read now!
Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams
The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.
“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.
I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.
If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.
I left Alaska out because it’s too big.
Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.
Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.
Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.
Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)
Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.
I told you he has terrific ideas!
Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:
- I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
- I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
- I did not help pull back the rubber part.
I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.
I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.
I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)
His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.
I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.
“I found something big! Really big!”
There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.
I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)
Georgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.
I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.
Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.
“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—
Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”
“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”
He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.
“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”
“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”
I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.
“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.
Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.
I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.
(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)
I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”
That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”
One of us said, “Whoa.”
I don’t remember who.
End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out
end of excerpt
Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything
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What People Are Saying About My Book:
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“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”
“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”
— Kirkus Reviews
“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”
— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books
“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”
Comments from my Readers & Friends
Comments are closed.
Thank you for being a writer Cheesie Mack
My teacher, Ms.Springfield is reading the first book and i am reading the second book because I already read the first book. it is a super good book Steve Cotter. Thank you for coming to Jaffrey Grade School. That was such a good visit.
You are right. Jaffrey Rocks!
Dear Cheesie, Ive been thinking about Gorgie. How did Cheesie and Georgie became freinds? I really want to know! Plus why is Goon so mean to Cheesie? I mean like what did she ever do to you? Please tell me!
From,
annika
We have lived right next to each other our whole lives. I do not know why she is mean. Maybe she wanted to be an only child.
I love this book! My teacher read it for a read aloud. she just finished today. Now she is reading Because of Winn-Dixie. Oh how I wish she was Reading the Cheesie Mack Is Cool In a Dule!
both books are awesome
Thanks, Travis.
it was a shocker i was suprized when g j prot on the male box
I love your books! Their exciting, funny, and educational!
Thanks, Waleed.
what does a “noob” mean?
I’m not sure. I think it’s a video game term that means someone who is terrible and thinks they’re good.
It means “newb” (newbie)
Actually “newb” and “noob” mean different things. A newb is a beginner and is not really a mean thing to call someone. A noob is someone who is terrible and thinks they’re good. Calling someone a noob is insulting. But unless you are writing, they sound the same.
Please resond I want to know what you of my comments. byeaaa
Cheesy Mack,
Hi, I’m Aaron, age 10. I love reading your books. Why is your sister so mean to you? I don’t have any siblings, just wondering why she is so mean.
Merry Christmas,
Aaron
I have thought a lot about why she is so mean. My best guess is she liked being the only kid…and when I came along it messed up her life.
how old are you
how old are you brianna?
Cheesie! please relpy!
how did you think of righting the story
hi cheesies your owsome
your so cool and awosome and what ever
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii:]}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}: please restond
oh my word! I love you books! I thought a bout making a book that is kind of like yours!
Do it! Write that book.
i relly liked the part in the1 book was when cheeies or gergy found the letter
I love your book if my moms lets me get the 2 book I will toatally read it keep up the awesome work ps I like potatoesThey are so dielious
Thanks, Ava. I like taters, too.
i just made up i new word here it is yumdoodle. yummy+doodle=yumdoodle ttttaaaaddddaaaa !3
um
Cheesie i am eating mac in cheese and i am not trying to make fun of you ok.=3by the way my mac’n’cheese tastes good. you should eat it again when nobody is looking at you.!3
i relly love your books and hope you can come to our school too,that would be cool.my school is Jolley School.=3
You could have your teacher contact me. Maybe I could come.
http://cheesiemack.com/events/#visit
by the way your ears don’t really pop out that much at all.please tell me what you got on your b-day and um Happy Late Brithday!!!!!!i also like chcolate ice cream too. and cake
Actually they really do. The illustrator did not draw them as big as they really are. (And that is the last time I’m going to comment about my ears!)
just so you know i really like reading alot and i read this book in just ONE!!!!! day. yyyyyaaaayyy
i really like your story.it really made me laugh my head off.i am very happy that there is a second book about your funny,crazy surprising,and amazing story or stories.i hope that in your next book there would be the time you and Georgie will build the really cool treehouse. I have never been to a camp before but i hope that it was really fun like how you said it was.i don’t want to sound demanding or anything but i hope you guys could maybe put my name in one of your stories.that would nice of you guys. so if you do then tnx alot. i liked how you made up your own words. they’re really cool. just so you know i broke my pinkie so i can’t really type that good like i always do so i hope you wish me good luck.well i gotta go now bye and please don’t stop making your books.they are very creative like your stories and you so um bye now. =3
You will be amazed to know that somebody breaks a finger (just like you) in my third book, Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
I like your book, it is funny, but I wish you can add some jokes or something.
My favrit chapter is chapter 13.
Happy christmas cheesie mack.
I love your book!I’ve loved your book and got it done in 4 days!so if u keep writing books i’ll keep reading your books!
cheesie me and jamuari love your web and books!
u awesome bro make more books
Shadow/jamuari-breasia/nate—
Thanks for saying, “Go, Cheesie!”
HHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just to let you know my name is Emily Lawrence
I think the book Is really good. I like that it is very funny!and cool.
Since you wrote the same thing three times, I say:
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
I think the book Is really good. I like that it is very funny!
I agree . i like that book to and i think it is cool and collected.
YO YO man! You sound pretty nuts in your book. how old are you in real life.
My books are about me, and I am 11.
i love the book Chesie Mack but Gogie is weird
You think I am weird? You spelled my name Gogie. That’s really weird!
hi
Hi, Cheesie! This is Josh’s mom. He really loved your first two books and we have a long time to wait for number three. Do you have any recommendations of other funny, well-written books for 4th grade boys who read like 6th graders? Mama is running out of ideas… Thank you!
Hey Cheesie (Or Georgie)-
I am a fourth grader and wondering what sixth grade is like. I know you are in middle school, so can you give me some advice about it?
– Josh
Yo, Josh…
Georgie here.
Best advice is just be yourself and don’t worry about what other people think. There will always be kids who think they are cooler. But really, they probably aren’t!
That’s my advice.
Hi i am ameion hamlet you visited my school hawks rise elemtry school and i think you books are amazing there are creative and i love how some kids can relate to you book
I really liked visiting Hawks Rise. Cool school!
Hi Cheesie and Steve,
You came to my school I think on November 12, 2012 . You also gave me two books that you singed for me. My school is named St. Peter school. I remember you had a chart about what is Georgie like and Cheesie like, but I did not answer any answers. I LOVE your book. I always say ” Okay, mabey I will stop on this chapter.” But later on I say ” But I want to know what happens next!” I am reading non stop! This is like the best book EVER!! I can’t wait for the third book!
Thanks,
Athena
I really like your school (and you have a very jolly principal!)
Thanks!
Hi Athena! It’s Karen, from fifth grade! He also visited us! I finished both books. Highly recomended. Great books
Hi Karen,
It’s me, Athena. I know he visted you!!! I think it’s highly recomended too!
This book was awesome! Recently, Steve Cotler came to our school. It was awesome and that is how I heard of the book. I have finished the first book and now I;m reading the second! I can’t wait for the third book though! I really love this book! It is sooooooo funny!
it was such an awesome book i could read 100 times
Sooooooooooo i really like this book it is enertaining
Silversky10/Sam/Flicka—
Thanks/thankyou/thankyouverymuch!
To who?
To all three of you.
I loved this book because it was so funny!
Thanks. I guess I am a funny person.
I can’t wait to read your next book, Cheesie! Are you going to write more?
I am writing #4 and I will definitely do #5. After that, whew!…who knows.
I loved this book because it was so funny!
Gorgie,
I think that you are really funny!
Please write me back!
I am totally awesome! Thanks for noticing.
I really liked cheesie mack,well not liked actually I LoVeD cheesie mack……or you. it was so interesting!I’ll definetlly have to read the second book,for sure.I wonder if I could write my own book, too. I have a very best friend,too.We are just like you and GEO.:)
You definitely should try to write your book!
my birthday is tomorrow!!!!!! and hi! 🙂 (smile)
Chessie do you care that her birthday is tommorow
I LOVED your book and wanted to tell you, toads pee a lot and a cool word I made up is, a loopedoop it means spinning really fast and is pronounced, loop-dee-doop.
Thanks a loop-dee-loop, Amy!
I LIKE THE BOOK CAN YOU MAKE A ANOTHER BOOK
Book #3 comes out next June.
YOUR BOOK WAS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT WAS THE BEST BOOK EVER CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT!!!
THAT WAS NICE TO SAY AND HOW ARE YOU
Thanks a lot, LK!
Yo Yo Yo Cheesie i am a really fun girl and i was wondering if you would put my name in your book . I really injoy the book and are you going to make a third book . I would read the other books . How ld are you in real life?