Cheesie Mack

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

Here are all the links I promised I would put on my website:

  1. Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
  2. Unusual grandparent nicknames.
  3. Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
  4. Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
  5. Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
  6. Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
  7. Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
  8. Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
  9. The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
  10. Cool words that sound like what they mean.
  11. Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
  12. Vote for your favorite food.
  13. How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
  14. Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
  15. What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
  16. Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
  17. Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
  18. Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
  19. Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
  20. The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
  21. The title of my next book.
  22. Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
  23. All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
  24. Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

The Original Cover

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or AnythingThe original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)

There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.

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Part of my book you can read now!

Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams

The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.

“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.

I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.

If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.

I left Alaska out because it’s too big.

Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.

Map of the US with a star on Massachusets

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Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.

Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.

Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)

Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.

I told you he has terrific ideas!

Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:

  1. I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
  2. I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
  3. I did not help pull back the rubber part.

I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.

Georgie launching a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, onto my sister's head.

I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.

I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)

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His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.

I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.

“I found something big! Really big!”

There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.

I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)

GeorgieGeorgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.Cheesie

Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.

“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—

Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”

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“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”

He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.

“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”

“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”

I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.

“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.

Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.

I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)

I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”A really old penny! (From 1909)

That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”

One of us said, “Whoa.”

I don’t remember who.

End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out

Excerpt copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Adam McCauley. Published by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

end of excerpt

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

is available in the following formats:

Random House

May 22, 2011

ISBN-10: 0375864377

ISBN-13: 9780375864377

Digital:

Hardcover:

Paperback:

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What People Are Saying About My Book:

Read or write reviews on Goodreads →

“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”

— Publishers Weekly

“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”

— Kirkus Reviews

“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”

— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”

— School Library Journal

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  3. Hi, Cheesie Mack.
    I am Eden. Your books are amazing. Wonderful. Your characters, the plot, the descriptions… They add up to a great combination. You must feel proud being who you are. And you are how old?… 15? I am nine. SO great reading your books. Do you and Steve Cotler write any other series? Do Georgie or Kevin write? DO you get along with Kevin and Georgie?
    Eden=)

    1. The first thing I thought of when I read your comment was, “She is a really good writer for only being nine years old.”
      To answer your questions:
      –I am 11. I will be 12 in August.
      –The Cheesie Mack books are the only books I have written.
      –Georgie writes a little, but only when I push him. He actually wrote part of my second book.
      –I do not know if Kevin writes. I bet not.
      –Do I get along with Georgie? DUH! Georgie and I are BFF!
      –I see Kevin once in a while, but he is in Goon’s grade, so we don’t hang out at all.

  5. Awesome awesome awesome awesome… (infinity more awesomes)

    4. Hi chessie Mack I’m a very big fan and I’ve only read 1 of your books but it was very hilarious and funny I like Gorgie too!!!

  7. hi my teacher read cool in a doul i really liked i thought when you did the scary story i loved that . did that really happen

  8. I have a question. Do like cheese, i really do and since you are called Cheesie i was wondering if you like cheese or not.

    1. Yes, I do like cheese. All kinds. I even like some of the stinkier ones.

  9. Cheesie u and your books are so cool I love reading them and thanks for answering me

    1. I have written more! I am currently writing #5. My third book comes out June 25… and the fourth book Feb. ’14.

  12. HEY! THANKS FOR COMING TO COMMUNITY CHRISTAN SCHOOL! YOU TOLD US THAT YOU WROTE A PART OF YOUR THRID BOOK AT OUR SCHOOL!

  14. srry third post in a row. I just recalled that my ears stick out to and makes fun of me and georgie you were awesome and i really like to laugh so the girl how sat next to me was always like ” Whats so funny you dumbo (nickname cause of ears) probly. i loved it was sturiffic ( stupendis and terrific) gerogie was awesome please tell me if hes in the next book

  16. The first book was great i had a really fun time reading it, i even stoped reading another book to read this. i enjoyed it and im EXATIC to read your next

  17. I absolutely loved your first book! When I came to your second book I was amazed by how much it related to my Summer acting camp. I know it sounds totally untrue because an acting camp is nothing like a camp- out camp, but we have tons of fun although I am the littlest one. That gets me in a tough spot but I can deal with it until it gets out of my reach. (I am very tall for my age so it normally doesn’t!) Keep on writing so I can keep on reading!

    1. I love acting. We do skits at our camp. And, as you know, a talent show.

  19. I love this book a lot!!!!! It was super funny and gave me a lot of cOol info that I didn’t know. I can’t wait for more about Cheesie Mac!!!

  21. I loved your book! I thought it was pretty funny. It kept me entertained. I can’t wait to read more!

  23. Hey I have a book I’d like to publish but this email address doesn’t work could you somehow tell me how to publish it? I love to read and write it would mean lots. Great job on the book.

    2. The most important thing is to get your book finished and read by people who know lots about books (teachers, librarians, etc.). Then you’ll have a good idea whether it’s ready to be sent to publishers.

      That’s what I did.

  24. This book is amazing. It has funny, witty bits and I find it hilarious. The made up words are rad!

  25. i used this for my book report and finished it before my teacher started to tell me to read it

  28. I would love to hear from the most amazing cheesinie.(I know cheesie is you’re real name

  29. It was an awesome book! I loved it, it was great fun to read. But I’ve got a few questions, how do you come up with you’re words? Like sqoogled was one I think, and what does IMO mean? I do have a good dictionary of internet language, but IMO isn’t one of them. Anyway, if you do end up reading this, it would be a great honor to hear from the great Cheesie!

  30. I really loved book 1 and book 2 of cheesie mack but the first one i read was not a genuis or anything then in cool im a dule second write back soon sincerley Brandon Nettles:)

  31. DEAR,CHEESIE MACK,MY NAME IS SARA I AM 9 YEARS OLD.I LIVE IN FORT LANGLEY.I LOVED YOUR BOOK:CHEESIE MACK IS NOT A GENIUS OR ANYTHING.IM LOOKING AT IT RIGHT NOW!I HAVEN’T READ NUMBER TWO,BUT IM GOING TO ORDER IT FROM THE LIBARY IN TOWN.I LOVE MACKIRONI AND ANYTHING CHEESIE.SOMETIMES MY DADDY CALLS ME SARA SODA AND CHEESIE GIRL.MY BROTHERS NICKNAME IS DOORKNOB HE IS 11.I LOOOOOOOVED YOUR BOOK.:D

  32. You know sometimes you can`t get into a book…….i got into this book right away!!!!!LOVE YOUR BOOKS!!!!!!!

  33. CHEESIE MACK, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!! YOUR BOOK WAS THE BEST I’VE EVER READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. I LOVE this book. I cried with laughter almost the whole time I read it!! It is soooooooooo good!

  37. I can’t wait until the thirs book comes out and when it does send me a pic of you writing it! Please

  39. I think your book is so cool I read it and every page I wanted more of this book.

  40. I read a different book and it had a joke so (drum roll, please) here it is: one time this chicken, and then all across the road I know it doesn’t make sense but it was a wacky comedian

  41. “This book was very good.When is you coming out with a new a new Cheesie Mack book?”

  44. Hi I really liked the book I read it to my class and they really liked it also it was a CBA at the school I work at and it was the CBA winner of the 5th grade students. I really liked the way you wrote the book and the way it was put into funny places and the charters. But all together it was really good. Every one I kmow that read it said it was a very good book and it was. I hope to read more of your books when you write them!

    1. My book was the CBA winner at your school? (CBA = Children’s Book Award) Wow! Thanks great. Thanks for telling me.

  45. Hi i have been on your website before but this is my first comment and i LOVE your books. i am writing a book called The Wolf and the Chena (chena is a robot wolf) and i need tips because my first chapter is SO SHORT please give me tips.

    1. Describe feelings and background to help the reader know who your main characters are. Who did they get to the story’s beginning? What are their back stories. That will make your first chapter more interesting.

  47. i love your books steeve!!!!i remember when you visated my shool1

    nottingham elemntary school in the library!

  50. I really enjoyed this book. I love how you put all the vocabulary words. this is Hayden Ryals.

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