Cheesie Mack

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

Here are all the links I promised I would put on my website:

  1. Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
  2. Unusual grandparent nicknames.
  3. Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
  4. Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
  5. Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
  6. Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
  7. Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
  8. Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
  9. The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
  10. Cool words that sound like what they mean.
  11. Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
  12. Vote for your favorite food.
  13. How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
  14. Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
  15. What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
  16. Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
  17. Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
  18. Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
  19. Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
  20. The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
  21. The title of my next book.
  22. Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
  23. All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
  24. Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

The Original Cover

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or AnythingThe original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)

There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.

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Part of my book you can read now!

Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams

The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.

“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.

I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.

If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.

I left Alaska out because it’s too big.

Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.

Map of the US with a star on Massachusets

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Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.

Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.

Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)

Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.

I told you he has terrific ideas!

Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:

  1. I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
  2. I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
  3. I did not help pull back the rubber part.

I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.

Georgie launching a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, onto my sister's head.

I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.

I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)

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His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.

I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.

“I found something big! Really big!”

There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.

I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)

GeorgieGeorgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.Cheesie

Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.

“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—

Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”

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“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”

He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.

“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”

“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”

I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.

“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.

Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.

I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)

I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”A really old penny! (From 1909)

That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”

One of us said, “Whoa.”

I don’t remember who.

End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out

Excerpt copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Adam McCauley. Published by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

end of excerpt

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

is available in the following formats:

Random House

May 22, 2011

ISBN-10: 0375864377

ISBN-13: 9780375864377

Digital:

Hardcover:

Paperback:

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What People Are Saying About My Book:

Read or write reviews on Goodreads →

“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”

— Publishers Weekly

“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”

— Kirkus Reviews

“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”

— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”

— School Library Journal

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. Dude, your book is so awesome! You should make a lot of books. P.S Try finding some bigger words.

  2. Cheesie-
    Your best friend’s name is Georgie right? I have a question for him. If not, I’ve been reading so many books at one time!
    Georgie-
    How do you like being best friends with Cheesie? I like how you do all the funny and weird stuff. I think you are really funny!! You and Cheesie are really funny and amazing! I love your book!!

  3. Hey Cheesie, I have some questions! Do you like mysteries? Did you like Lincoln Elementary, even though people shouted out a lot? (my school) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live??
    Thanks!!
    -Marshmaya =)
    P.S. I’m in the middle of the first book!!

  6. Dear Cheesie Mack,
    This book has many things that I admire. It’s definitely a different to other books I’ve read.(In a good way.)As I Kept reading,I getting hooked. I also got to learn things that I surely didn’t know and was splenderful to learn.I also enjoyed when you came to my school (Lincoln Elm.) to meet us.I’ll totally read the next books and I hope you keep writing these books as well! =)

  9. yes I really liked this book! Its so funny! I didnt know what IMO ment but I figured it out. You might have wanted to add what IMO means or ment. but other wise you rote a great book or books. how do you come up with these things. IMO I think your a great Writer. Also what your favorite animal my is a dog and also horse. Thanks for such great books!

  10. What is your favorite animal, mine is a panda? What is your favorite show, mine is Wolfblood?

  11. I really like your first book. I have no Idea where to buy the books. Can you also help me find the cheapest store where I can buy the book from? I live in Illinois and have a budget of $20.00. Thanks

  12. My school Lincoln loves this book. We all miss you very much at the school since you came.

    Fernanda

  13. Dear Cheesie Mack,

    I am LondonlovesMac’n’Cheese’s sister. What advice do you have for me so we can have more time together? You are 11, right? I’m 1 year older than you, my sister is 9, she’s in the fourth grade. Her teacher is strictly harsh, do you have any advice on that?

    1. I have had harsh teachers, too. (Like Mrs. Wikowitz!) Usually they are harsh because they are good at what they do and want kids to pay attention. If that’s the kind of teacher your sister has, than it’s all good. But some harsh teachers are mean (my Granpa says) because they don’t really like teaching. That’s a bad situation.

  14. i love your second book i am in the middle of it right now! I love how cheesie keeps track of points but nobody else knows

  15. What other states you have visited, I’ve visited Virginia and Nevada, I live in South Carolina.

  17. Hi Cheesie!

    My brother says that i’m in love with you!!!!!!!!

    I’m really not but i’m in love with your books!!!!! I’m in the middle of your 2nd book I love it so far! I never knew that a lady could be ninty-six years old!! It’s so funny how you took a video of Goon holding Kevin’s hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. Dear Cheesise I loved your book it was awesome I can’t wait to read your next book! I am so excited!

  21. Who is your favorite singer or band?(Mine is marina and the diamonds, panic at the disco, and imagine dragons, I love so many!)

    1. I know you’ll think I am weird, but I am so busy writing…I don’t listen to a lot of pop music.

  23. After I read your book, I tried that breathing trick and it worked. I can now beat most of the kids in my grade in a race.

  25. Do you listen to the band Panic! At the Disco?( if you do I recommend This is Gospel.)

  26. I really love your books! You should make a lot more of them! I’m reading the first book, Cheesie Mack is not a genius or anything and I really like it and I want to read more. Steve Cotler, the author came to my school on October 13 and he autographed the book, Cheesie Mack is not a genius or anything for me. My cover has boxes with lots of different faces on them unlike this website. The books are really good please make more 🙂

  30. Yea I saw you Facebook photo and printed it and brought it to Chelsea, every one was amazed at how many books u signed. I bet ur hand was tired

  33. Your book was soooooooooo cool! I only read the first but now I want to read them all. The book I read’s cover was different from the one on this website. It had lots of different people on it. Is this really your website? I wish I had a website this cool! Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. I think some places sell the book with the cover with all the faces on it and some of them just sell it like the one on this website. I have the one with the faces.

  35. Dear,Cheesie I really like your books I cannot wait for book 4 and 5 keep up the good work and don’t make book 4 or 5 wierd

  39. I’ve been thinking ’bout this every since I finished your book(LOVED it btw). How come Goon hates you?

  40. Hey Dana are you there? Well…hey cheesie do you have a crush on someone?! Ha just joking with ya. (I’m not a cow!)

  41. Hi Cheesie.You inspired me to become a bok writer.I liked the camp story!!!LOLLL.By the way this is Brandon Kong from Lincoln Elemantary.You visited me on November 6th, 2013.

  42. Loved your book, Cheesie. I like the squiggly thing and the alpha. Have you noticed this squiggle thing ~?

  44. Cheesie I’m not a cow you visited my school you called on me and I said you and Goergie were troublemaker!

  46. I still remember when you came to my school (liberty elementary school). When you told us the camp story you pulled on a kid’s arm. Well that kid was my classmate and when we came back in our classroom he was telling my teacher his friends and I think his parents.when I told my sisters they SCREAMED like Goon screamed when Georgie launched the chocolate pudding bomb. 🙂

  47. my sister always asked me if I could tell the summer camp story. can you tell it to me? PLEASE!!!!!

  48. Guess what? My classmates don’t even know who Cheesiemack is. They know magic tree house. I don’t enjoy those books. I’ll stand up for you, my fellow friend. I just wish you’d come to my school and show my school how awesome you are, but they know and I know how awkward it would be if you came to the only place where you are not appreciated. I’m just thankful my school has a copy of your book. It is… like I said earlier… THE MOST EPIC THING IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!

  49. Hey, Cheesiemack. I am the only 4th grader brave enough to NOT judge a book by its cover. I’ve been keeping it from my school library for over two weeks now. I can’t resist! You are an excellent book writer. No lie, everyone despises your book… Until my lexile range went up to almost a collage lexile! Seriously, my classmates dont know what they are missing out on. THE BOOK IS THE MOST EPIC THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!!!!

  50. I loved your book. I can’t wait to read book 2. Whenever I read the book, I always read each page again because it is so interesting.

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