Cheesie Mack

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

Here are all the links I promised I would put on my website:

  1. Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
  2. Unusual grandparent nicknames.
  3. Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
  4. Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
  5. Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
  6. Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
  7. Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
  8. Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
  9. The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
  10. Cool words that sound like what they mean.
  11. Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
  12. Vote for your favorite food.
  13. How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
  14. Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
  15. What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
  16. Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
  17. Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
  18. Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
  19. Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
  20. The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
  21. The title of my next book.
  22. Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
  23. All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
  24. Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

The Original Cover

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or AnythingThe original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)

There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.

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Part of my book you can read now!

Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams

The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.

“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.

I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.

If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.

I left Alaska out because it’s too big.

Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.

Map of the US with a star on Massachusets

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Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.

Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.

Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)

Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.

I told you he has terrific ideas!

Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:

  1. I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
  2. I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
  3. I did not help pull back the rubber part.

I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.

Georgie launching a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, onto my sister's head.

I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.

I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)

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His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.

I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.

“I found something big! Really big!”

There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.

I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)

GeorgieGeorgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.Cheesie

Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.

“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—

Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”

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“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”

He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.

“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”

“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”

I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.

“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.

Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.

I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)

I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”A really old penny! (From 1909)

That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”

One of us said, “Whoa.”

I don’t remember who.

End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out

Excerpt copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Adam McCauley. Published by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

end of excerpt

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

is available in the following formats:

Random House

May 22, 2011

ISBN-10: 0375864377

ISBN-13: 9780375864377

Digital:

Hardcover:

Paperback:

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What People Are Saying About My Book:

Read or write reviews on Goodreads →

“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”

— Publishers Weekly

“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”

— Kirkus Reviews

“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”

— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”

— School Library Journal

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  7. I love this book . I just want you to email me back because I have a few questions thank you by the way you are coming to my school I go to pearl city school I am in. 5th grade mrs visels class and I am very excited to meet you by the wag my name is brianna

  10. Hey Cheesie! 😀
    That was an awesome book! DUDE, Ms. G.J. Prott is amazing! You did a honorable thing too haha! Don’t ever stop writing… unless you get tired, then please take a break 🙂
    Or when you get too old to have adventures… you know what I mean! 😀 I am going to try to read the rest of your books, so keep up the awesome work! C:

    1. Thanks for your comment, Julie.

      You are correct, Ms. Prott is a terrific person! She tells excellent stories. I copied one down. You can read it here.

  11. Oh my goodness! this book was so funny and hard to stop reading! I am so happy there are other books after book #1! Keep writing Cheesie!

  13. hey cheesie, i read your book and i loved it!!!!! i could stop reading it. and yea i am so sorry about your sister, goon. i loved the part when you talked to G.J Prott. she was so cool to me and she was every nice to you. i liked that she payed for you and gorgie to go to camp. your very cool.and if u get the chance please email me back OR WHATEVER!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  14. Hi Cheesie! I adore your books. I am reading book 2 “Cheesie Mack is Cool in a Duel”. It is AMAZING! I can’t stop reading! I want to thank my mom who is a librarian who got the book. I really want to read the rest! I will tell you more after you’ve replied.

    Fellow reader,
    Alex

  15. I LLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD your book sooooooo much. My parents got mad at me because i wouldn’t take my hands of the book !!!!!!! i can’t wait to read the second third fourth and fifth books !!!

    1. I sometimes get mean or nasty comments, but not often.

      When I ride my bike I like to go in One Direction. I had a slice of pewdie pie, but it was so nasty, I just smoshed it.

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  26. hi cheesie mack my name is summer rolfe i been reading your book cheesie mack is not a genius or anything it a good book and my class is whiteing to you and my best friend tanika has whited to you to i am 10 years old my birthday is on may the 9th and i love when its my birthday by summer rolfe hope you like my it ()()()

  33. Dear Cheesie,
    i love, love, LOVE your book. it was so funny! i still think georgie is a troublemaker, though. i hope you make a ton of seires’s.
    love,
    Em Em

    1. Me, a troublemaker??? No way. I can’t help it if the world is not completely ready for my Great Ideas.

  37. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe you Steve Cotler your books are amazing and I hope you respond to my following question! I really want to be an author and my teacher always say that I always extend my writing responces to the max! but I can never make my stories long enough! Please respond!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. My best advice is just keep writing…and actually it doesn’t matter how long your stories are. But if you really NEED to make them longer, outline your story before you start writing. Then, when the outline is complete, go back over each line and ask yourself, “What might happen BETWEEN these two characters at this point in the story? Or “What else could happen BETWEEN these two lines in my outline?” Add more and more that will make the story richer and more interesting. Add a subplot.

  39. It was the best book ever and i am going to finish the rest of the series this summer

  40. Please tell me if these this really did happen in real life or made up like I thought????

    -Grace H.

  41. Pleas replie Cheesiebut did these things really happen to you or did you really just make them up like I thought. ?????

    -Grace H.

  45. I loved your book remember when you made a prank on Georgie with the shaving cream? I laughed so loud!!

    2. Thats good because she might just be rude to people.
      But why can she not be on here did your parents say she can’t?

  49. I love your books!! They have inspired me to
    -Create my own Point Battle
    -Start Volunteer work in my neighborhood
    Isn’t that exciting!! Do you have any other books besides Cheesie Mack!! If so…What are the names of them!! I’m on the second book!! Yay!! Keep on writing and good luck in the future!!

  50. i love your books im going to eat lunch with you too! i go to fremont int i have brown hair and brown eyes i usually wear my hair in a messy ponytail

    PLEASE EMAIL ME xxxxxxxxx@gmail.com see you may 9th

    1. Sarah—
      I X’d out your email address because it is not a good idea to put it in public where everyone can copy it. I don’t email because it would take too much of my time and I wouldn’t be able to write. I respond on my website like I am doing now.

    4. I removed your email address to give you privacy online. I am not allowed to email kids directly. Sorry.

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