Cheesie Mack

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

Here are all the links I promised I would put on my website:

  1. Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
  2. Unusual grandparent nicknames.
  3. Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
  4. Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
  5. Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
  6. Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
  7. Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
  8. Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
  9. The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
  10. Cool words that sound like what they mean.
  11. Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
  12. Vote for your favorite food.
  13. How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
  14. Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
  15. What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
  16. Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
  17. Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
  18. Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
  19. Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
  20. The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
  21. The title of my next book.
  22. Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
  23. All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
  24. Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

The Original Cover

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or AnythingThe original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)

There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.

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Part of my book you can read now!

Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams

The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.

“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.

I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.

If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.

I left Alaska out because it’s too big.

Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.

Map of the US with a star on Massachusets

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Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.

Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.

Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)

Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.

I told you he has terrific ideas!

Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:

  1. I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
  2. I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
  3. I did not help pull back the rubber part.

I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.

Georgie launching a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, onto my sister's head.

I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.

I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)

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His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.

I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.

“I found something big! Really big!”

There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.

I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)

GeorgieGeorgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.Cheesie

Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.

“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—

Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”

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“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”

He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.

“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”

“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”

I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.

“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.

Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.

I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)

I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”A really old penny! (From 1909)

That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”

One of us said, “Whoa.”

I don’t remember who.

End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out

Excerpt copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Adam McCauley. Published by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

end of excerpt

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

is available in the following formats:

Random House

May 22, 2011

ISBN-10: 0375864377

ISBN-13: 9780375864377

Digital:

Hardcover:

Paperback:

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What People Are Saying About My Book:

Read or write reviews on Goodreads →

“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”

— Publishers Weekly

“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”

— Kirkus Reviews

“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”

— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”

— School Library Journal

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  6. I read your book it is really funny.I saw what a mess Gorgie was .It really means a lot to you and Gorgie to go to camp it souds really fun.Go CHEESIE.

  7. Cheesie my brother said that he was apart of the cheesie mack club.i started that well me and my friends i came up with it.I`m haveing a cheesie mack party and it`s going to be awesome.

    2. Hey I’m in glosta why can’t u invite me too????? After all I live on rocky neck and yah do you live in tulsa? Like your brother jake miller

  8. Hey Cheesie how boring is the graduation ganna be,like really boring.your sister is so mean maybe you can put dog poop in her bed.Or dog poop her bike.I am really excited to get to one of the chappters it is called busted by the cops.It just gets my attention.Maybe you shoud make a girl Cheesie Mack.

  9. Cheesie I got your book today!I haven`t got to read your book because my sister won`t let me read it.Shes been hogging it ever sinse we got it.I don`t blame her because I bet she really likes it.And I know everybody will to.Oh,did I mention my sister started a Cheesie Mack Club.I bet you really like the sound of that.Oh, I also should mention that I`m part of the Cheesie Mack Club.

    1. Wow! A Cheesie Mack Club”? I am really happy about that. I have never had anything named after me…except my own book.

  11. cheesie Iv got to admitt that gorgie is pretty good at that penny trick .You and gorgie are pretty asome togeather whith your tricks on your sister.Gorgie needs to be respectful.

  12. cheeie i got to admitt that was asome when you plung that baloon at your sister good job.

  13. hey my sister taylor got your book with your autograph on it and i was wondering if you were ever coming back to jarman elementary so i can get one

  14. Hey Cheesie,I love your book.It is so cool!I love it!Thank you for making the book.I can not wait for your next book!I know all your books will be so awesome!

  15. cheesie your so cool. did i menmion that i have a brother and a sister.i know what it fells like tohave a fight and wore.so your not alone brother.

    1. Ya he should,Jordan.Georgie is awesome!I wish I could be like Georgie!Cheesie should follow in Georgies foot steps every day of his life!

    3. Cheesie I live in your town too and neighborhood I saw u at my school I got ur book on my birthday I love it not too many kid books take place in this beautiful town in Gloucester my uncle george works a

    6. This is awesome like I’ve never seen a book for kids in my neighborhood anyways how old are you jake I’m ten did cheesie come to your school? Where’s Tulsa anyways?

    7. Tulsa Oklahoma ohhhh awesome I’ve never been there have u ever seen Gloucester it’s an awesome town!!!!
      I wanna see Oklahoma someday!!
      L

    3. Cheesie,
      I misspelled my name on the ” Luna” person it’s actually Lucy, thanks for coming to EGS east Gloucester elementary!!!!! I’m gonna check your website today!!! This is an awesome book, I finished it completely yesterday! On my birthday my parents bought me the cheesie Mack book cause you came to my school. Why did you chose Gloucester to be the place your book take place? Why? How? When? Where? What? Please answer these questions!
      Lucy g
      EGS student

    4. Why Gloucester? Well, I (Cheesie) live there…and it seemed like if I was going to write about my life, I ought to write about where I live. The second reason is Gloucester is a different kind of town. Lots of towns in the USA are similar to other towns, but Glosta has its own special personality. Like the Greasy Pole. And lobsta.

    1. I responded to you twice. If you didn’t get an email from my website, you probably didn’t input a valid email address. Please note that my website does not keep email addresses, so you have to input one each time you comment.

    2. Thank you sooo much for responding alot, I’m tring to go on everyday to chat with you, Cheesie and the other kids who had Cheesie come to their school(you).
      Lucy

  26. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    SOOOOO COOL! BEST BOOK EVER!

  28. Hey Cheesie i’m really sorry to bother you (again) but when does your new book come out and how many books do you plan on writing???? SORRY AGAIN!!!!

    2. My second book comes out in June. I’d like to write a lot of books, but it depends on the publisher. If the books sell a lot of copies then the publisher will want me to write more. Otherwise, not.

    3. It’s in Book #2…Cheesie Mack Is Cool in a Duel. You’ll have to wait until it comes out in June!

  32. Omg! I love this website.i also love cheesie.did I mention this website and the books.ahhhhh! The best website ever. Even better than candy.ok,mayby not better than candy.ok,I’m done now.Bye.I still love this website!!!!!!!!!!!!

    3. I do have a sweet tooth so yaaaah I guess I don’t know which is better but anyways both are good! But the website is better for you than candy!
      Lucy

  36. hey cheesie! please do me a favor, i want you to put the following names in your book: emma, bella, luz, and kate. thanks for lisening! sincerly, emma

    1. I will try, but lots of kids ask the same thing, and if I put all the names they wanted in my book…my book would be nothing but a long, long, long list of names!

    2. It must be hard with all those names so you don’t java do this but put a name that begins with L orLu . I know you have Lana but how about some other girl,?
      Lucy

  37. cheesie your books are awesome! If only i could meet you, i also have a question, why do you like mack and cheese?

    5. When you read my book, you’ll see that I absolutely do stand up for myself. In fact, I intend to win the Point Battle between me and my evil sister!

  40. hey,cheesie. i looooove your book. its really funny.DONT LET GEORGIE GET ALL THE IDEAS.

    1. TO:
      Isaiah Phillips & jordan miller & anajah & Aalliyahmukes & jabari &
      michal k.d.harris & lexie—

      WOW! You guys really write a lot of terrific comments on my website. I am having trouble keeping up. (I have so much homework to do tonight!)

      Gotta go!

    3. Mrs. Smith & Emma—
      I don’t always get up that early, but last night my sister had four friends sleeping over because they all went on a school field trip today, and since I have to share a bathroom with Goon, I knew I’d never have a chance to take a shower before school unless I got up before them…so that’s why.

  41. dear cheesie …dont let gorgie have all the ideas.i dont think you should folow in gorgies foot steps.

    1. Well, probably you’re right for some of his Great Ideas. But sometimes his Great Ideas are really GREAT!

    4. samantha & Aalliyahmukes & Michael Thomas & anajah & Joseph Ye—

      Thanks for going online and commenting on my website. You guys are VERY COOL!

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