Cheesie Mack

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

Here are all the links I promised I would put on my website:

  1. Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
  2. Unusual grandparent nicknames.
  3. Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
  4. Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
  5. Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
  6. Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
  7. Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
  8. Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
  9. The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
  10. Cool words that sound like what they mean.
  11. Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
  12. Vote for your favorite food.
  13. How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
  14. Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
  15. What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
  16. Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
  17. Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
  18. Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
  19. Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
  20. The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
  21. The title of my next book.
  22. Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
  23. All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
  24. Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

The Original Cover

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or AnythingThe original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)

There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.

Read more→

Part of my book you can read now!

Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams

The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.

“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.

I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.

If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.

I left Alaska out because it’s too big.

Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.

Map of the US with a star on Massachusets

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Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.

Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.

Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)

Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.

I told you he has terrific ideas!

Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:

  1. I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
  2. I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
  3. I did not help pull back the rubber part.

I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.

Georgie launching a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, onto my sister's head.

I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.

I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)

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His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.

I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.

“I found something big! Really big!”

There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.

I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)

GeorgieGeorgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.Cheesie

Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.

“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—

Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”

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“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”

He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.

“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”

“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”

I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.

“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.

Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.

I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)

I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”A really old penny! (From 1909)

That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”

One of us said, “Whoa.”

I don’t remember who.

End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out

Excerpt copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Adam McCauley. Published by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

end of excerpt

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

is available in the following formats:

Random House

May 22, 2011

ISBN-10: 0375864377

ISBN-13: 9780375864377

Digital:

Hardcover:

Paperback:

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What People Are Saying About My Book:

Read or write reviews on Goodreads →

“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”

— Publishers Weekly

“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”

— Kirkus Reviews

“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”

— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”

— School Library Journal

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  6. hi Steve Cotler im from Whited Elemetry School. I saw you the 12-9-11. I am fasanated of the book. I wish I could get one but I cant. Can I order a book on line with your sgniter. My mom prints shirts. The name of her bisnes is 24 hour shirt printing.
    from,
    madissen

    1. sorry i spelled some words wrong. im not really good at spelling. when is your next book coming out? i want to read a scary story. im so exited!!!!!!! is it called ”cool in a duel”? is it all about a scary story?

      from
      madissen

    2. Hi, Madissen—
      My next book comes out in June, and yes…it is called Cheesie Mack Is Cool in a Duel. There is a scary story in it, but it’s not all about a scary story. There’s lots more in it.

  7. Hi Cheesie! i am from glorrieta school and it was very fun having you come visit! i love your book and i have an autographed one! thanks!

    1. Bailey & Tony000—

      COME ON! I do not believe Bailey is reading it for the 19th time.

      But I am glad you both like it!

  13. Hi i go to Whited Elementary and i just wanted to say i’m really exited your coming.(out teacher only read us 3 chapters then she stopped so i didn’t finish but i know i will LOVE it)

    1. Thanks! It’s a lot of fun to visit schools. I haven’t been to your school, but I know I will LOVE it!

    5. I hope you do I,I have never met or seen n author of a book before.(besides on tv,computer,etc)im still
      SUPER exited!!!!!!!!!!

  17. I AM ON CHAPTER LET ME THINK…….. MABYE 14 WHERE YOU AND GEORGIE GO TO THE HAUNTED TOAD AND STUFF……. LOVE IT

    1. Wow! That’s great. You can never tell in advance whether something you recommend is going to be liked. I mean, some people like Brussels sprouts (me), but if I recommend them, mostly kids will NOT like them. And I have a friend who has an uncle who doesn’t like ANY flavor of ice cream. NONE!

    4. You might like Gennifer Choldenko’s Al Capone Does My Shirts. It takes place on Alcatraz Island in 1935.

    2. I had to remove lots of adam’s o’s. They were clogging up my website! (My dad said, “If they were Cheerios you could eat them.”)

    1. I am helping Meemo (who is at my house) make the stuffing. She is letting me make up some of the recipe. Remember that Goon is a vegetarian? Well, stuffing is the only part of the turkey that she’ll eat, so I have decided to add chopped walnuts and little tiny pieces of chopped broccoli (because Goon hates broccoli)! Ha!

      Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who has commented on my website!

    3. We went ove to our friends house. They are amazing cooks. What is your favorite dish? My favorite is mashed potaoes and gravy.

    4. We went to our friends house. They are amazing cooks. What is your favorite dish? My favorite is mashed potaoes and gravy.

  22. I love the book Cheesie Mack especially the chapter zero the chapter 8s and the chapter 14s. I LOVEEEEEEE TTTTHHHHHEEE BBBBOOOOKKKK!!!!!!!

  29. I wish I had a pet store that gave out free mice in my neighborhood!
    I have two hamsters, Thunder and Lightning.

    Mariel…..

    P.S. I made up a word

  32. Ha ha ha ha weeeeee! weeeeee! hoo hoo hoo hoo meeee!meeeee! gagagoomalayoopareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  34. Hey, Cheesie! How’s a goin’ ? I loved your book. It was very funny. I can’t wait till the next one!

    1. Thanks, Cole! I am in a really good mood today because Thanksgiving is coming, and it is a terrific holiday!

  35. I am in the 5th grade and I have dyslexia and I usually hate to read. Butttttt when I found your book I reallyyyy wanted to read. It looked soooooo interesting.
    I love your book. it was the my first whole book that was a chapter book.
    I read it all my own. I can’t wait for the next book. What else can you recommend I read while I am waiting????? I am on a roll thanks to u. My mom is a 4th grade teacher and she is now reading it now!!!!!!!!!!!!

    THANK YOU LOVE YOUR FRIEND THAN2000

    1. Hey, Than (I’m guessing that’s a nickname for Nathaniel…am I right?)…

      Thanks for your comment. I am really happy you liked my book and that you made it your FIRST WHOLE CHAPTER BOOK.

      (I will think of some other books to recommend to you.)

      Yay, Than!
      Yay, Cheesie!

    2. thanks, you’re right, than is short for Nathaniel. Thank you for writing back. I telling everyone about your book, my 5th grade teacher 2

    3. I asked some friends who know a lot about dyslexia, and they recommended the Alvin Ho books (he’s younger than you, but really funny), Evan Kuhlman’s The Last Invisible Boy, and How to Grow Up and Rule The World by Scott Seegert. Also, Mary Pope Osborne’s Magic Tree House series. Let me know if you like these.

  36. Hey Cheesie, have you ever visited schools in the west coast like in California? That’s where my school is and I really hope you can come!

    1. You bet I have. Lots of times.
      In fact, I’m going to be at some schools in the East Bay in December. Maybe you could get your principal or librarian or teacher to go to this webpage and send a request for me to come to your school.

      http://bit.ly/tLQeKW

      Maybe I’ll come!

  37. hi! hope you remember me when you came to the hellenic clasical chater school in park slope! hopefuly you remeber me.

    1. Sure I do!
      I had a terrific time at HCCS. I’m planning on coming back when my next book comes out.

  38. HI Mack, your book is actually really good, I just think you should change the cover, its kind of “cheesie”. Can’t wait for the next book

    1. Really? I really like the cover. When you go into a bookstore, I think it stands out as being different. What would you change? Why do you think it’s cheesy?

  43. I also made up my own word! its called, “sparoni” its spagetti with macaroni (2 of my fav foods)

  44. Hi Mr.Cheesie!! I go to Peters elementary! You visited us a month ago. I didnt get a chance to order your book so I am going to check it out at the library. and by the way………. I THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR COMING TO VISIT ME!!!!! I CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU ANOTHER TIME!!!!!! ALL MY FRIENDS SAY I’M THE MOST OUTGOING PERSON THEY KNOW!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING , CHRISTMAS, AND ALL THE OTHER HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!! THANKS FOR WRIGHTING BACK!!!!!! I LOVE THE FIRST 2 CHAPTERS OF YOUR BOOK! IM GOING TO CHECK IT OUT AT MY PUBLIC LIBRARY!THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE DONE! HAVE A GREAT LIFE!!

    1. Sure. Lots of kids. But I don’t make a big deal about it, so mostly it doesn’t get talked about at my school.

  47. your book was soooo awesome! it made me laugh soooo much! i would totally recommend this to my friend! do funny! did you have a fun time writing this?

    1. I did have fun! Some things that I remembered made me laugh as much when I wrote about them as when they actually happened.

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