Cheesie Mack

Book 1

Mystery, mice, and money at the end of fifth grade!

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Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

Here are all the links I promised I would put on my website:

  1. Tell me if you liked this book… or if you didn’t… or whatever.
  2. Unusual grandparent nicknames.
  3. Countries with money that doesn’t break into hundredths.
  4. Guess what it will cost to mail a letter fifty years from now.
  5. Images of cool stamps and your made-up captions to go with them.
  6. Anything about frog and toad leg lengths.
  7. Excellent rodent jokes to add to my collection.
  8. Have you seen a vampire or, even better, been bitten by one?
  9. The answer to my puzzle: eighty-three cents in four U.S. coins.
  10. Cool words that sound like what they mean.
  11. Which three words is “skivolvunged” a combo of?
  12. Vote for your favorite food.
  13. How to toss things over your head backward with your toes.
  14. Other names for sow bugs… and my science report.
  15. What was the evidence in Goon’s pocket?
  16. Glenn Philips’ “a half of a time” explanation.
  17. Determining if Glenora Jean Prott was a Ms. or a Mrs.
  18. Cheesie’s and Georgie’s junk food presentation.
  19. Six U.S. pennies minted in 1909.
  20. The Harder/Bigger Word Game (THABIWOGA). [It doesn’t work. I’m a dud!]
  21. The title of my next book.
  22. Do you know why Eureka was dented into the paper in the envelope?
  23. All about my last birthday party… and tell me about yours.
  24. Where to say hi. Or leave a comment. (I hope you do!)

Read from my book

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

Book 1 in the Cheesie Mack Series

The Original Cover

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or AnythingThe original cover of this book—and Book 2—(both illustrated by Adam McCauley) have been replaced by new ones (illustrated by Douglas Holgate) because the people who publish my books thought my covers would look better with much bigger pictures of me. (Don’t start saying I’m conceited. It wasn’t my idea.)

There are lots of characters in my books, and most of them were pictured on the original covers. If you don’t know who everyone is, click here for a rundown.

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Part of my book you can read now!

Excerpted from: Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

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CHAPTER 2:
My Best Friend Screams

The phone call was from Georgie Sinkoff, my best friend.

“GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” he screamed into my ear before I could finish saying hello. And then he hung up on me.

I ran outside, yelled to Mom where I was going, and sprinted into the gully behind my house, which is in Gloucester, Massachusetts, where I have lived my whole life.

If you don’t know where Massachusetts is, look in the upper right-hand corner of the United States.

I left Alaska out because it’s too big.

Mass (sometimes we call it that) is a small state.

Map of the US with a star on Massachusets

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Only six states are smaller. Even Hawaii is bigger, but it’s kind of cheating because lots of Hawaii is ocean. I have a U.S. map on my bedroom wall, and because I look at it every night before I turn out my light, I have almost memorized it.

Gloucester (people here say GLAH-stah… weird, huh?) is the oldest fishing port in America. It was founded in 1623, only three years after the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, which is also in Massachusetts somewhere. I have never seen Plymouth Rock, but rocks last almost forever, so I guess it’s still there.

Georgie and I live less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean, in a neighborhood of big, old houses. Not old like Pilgrims, but Granpa says our house is older than he is, and I know he is way more than seventy. (He does not celebrate his birthday, and I don’t even know when it is. He won’t tell.)

Our houses are three blocks apart if you use the streets, but Georgie and I only go that way if we’re on our bikes. There’s a scrawny little stream in a scrawny little gully that separates our backyards, and it is so narrow that last year Georgie launched a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, where my sister was playing with her friends.

I told you he has terrific ideas!

Of course I was in Georgie’s bedroom at the time, but on purpose here’s what I did not do:

  1. I did not fill the balloon with pudding.
  2. I did not touch Georgie’s huge slingshot.
  3. I did not help pull back the rubber part.

I did not do any of these things so that if Mom or someone asked, I would not have to lie. I did help aim it, kind of. When the pudding bomb landed and splashed chocolate on you-know-who, the girls screamed like the universe was exploding—and even though we got yelled at, it was cool.

Georgie launching a balloon filled with chocolate pudding all the way from his bedroom window over the trees and the gully into my backyard, onto my sister's head.

I trotted through the gully on the path that Georgie and I made, then up the other side and through the won’t-close-gate into his backyard. Once inside his back door—I never have to knock—I yelled for him. He yelled back from the basement.

I walked down the stairs. They creaked and squeaked like in horror movies. (I’m not trying to scare you—it’s just one of the details I remember.)

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His house, like mine, is really old. The basement and stairs are made out of wood, and the floor is mostly dirt except for the concrete part where Mr. Sinkoff keeps his tools.

I could see a shadow moving on the basement floor, so I knew Georgie was directly beneath me, under the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Georgie stepped out and grabbed me, talking real fast.

“I found something big! Really big!”

There were cobwebs in his hair. He had one hand behind his back.

I have known Georgie my whole life. We have always been best friends… except for the time in third grade when he called me Dumbo Ears. (This is really the last time I am going to mention my ears!)

GeorgieGeorgie has reddish-brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, braces, and really cool glasses with bright red rims. He is already eleven and is almost twice my size. He is good at games where being big is an advantage, like basketball and football. My best sports are soccer and baseball because I am wicked fast and very excellent at catching flies.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and a whitish scar on my thumb where a fishhook stabbed me when I was on a lake with my dad. I was eight and fooling around. Don’t ask.Cheesie

Georgie and I go to the same school, have always had the same teacher, and in the summer, always go to camp in Maine.

“I was down here looking for black widow spiders,” Georgie continued. “I figured if I caught one in a jar, we could use it to scare your sister. But this”—

Georgie brought his arm around and held up a yellowed envelope with one corner ripped off—”was completely hidden between those two boards.” He pointed under the stairs, but I took my eyes off the envelope for only a second. “It’s addressed to my house, but the name is”—he squinted at the envelope—”G. J. Prott.”

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“Probably there was somebody named G. J. Prott who lived here before you guys,” I said. Georgie nodded. “Look what was in the envelope!”

He held out a piece of paper folded up small, then opened it. Inside were a silvery metal heart on a silvery metal chain and one penny.

“A penny? Not exactly treasure, Georgie.”

“Yeah, but this necklace is probably real silver. And what if there’s more hidden stuff? Like gold and diamonds.”

I picked up the necklace and held it high between us. The lightbulb on the basement rafters was not very bright, but the heart sparkled as it spun slowly.

“I bet a hypnotist could use this to hypnotize people,” I said.

Georgie didn’t say anything. Maybe I’d sort of hypnotized him.

I placed the heart necklace back on the paper in Georgie’s hand and examined the coin. The back looked a lot different from any other penny I’d ever seen, but the front had the same face on it: Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

(Glenn Philips, the smartest kid in my class, can name all the presidents and all the vice presidents. In order!)

I looked at the date on the coin. “This penny was made in 1909.”A really old penny! (From 1909)

That snapped Georgie out of his trance. He grabbed the penny and peered at it closely. “That means it’s over a hundred years old.”

One of us said, “Whoa.”

I don’t remember who.

End of Book One Excerpt – Order Your Copy
Read from Book Two: Cheesie Mack Is Cool In A Duel
Read from Book Three: Cheesie Mack Is Running Like Crazy!
Read from Book Four: Cheesie Mack Is Not Exactly Famous
Read from Book Five: Cheesie Mack Is Sort Of Freaked Out

Excerpt copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Adam McCauley. Published by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

end of excerpt

Cheesie Mack is Not a Genius or Anything

is available in the following formats:

Random House

May 22, 2011

ISBN-10: 0375864377

ISBN-13: 9780375864377

Digital:

Hardcover:

Paperback:

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What People Are Saying About My Book:

Read or write reviews on Goodreads →

“Fifth-grader Ronald “Cheesie” Mack’s problems (like how to outsmart his evil older sister) may be ordinary, but in the hands of first-time author Cotler they’re plenty entertaining. Playful use of language. Many entertaining bit characters. Cotler blatantly sets readers up for Cheesie’s next adventure; after this installment, they’ll be ready for it.”

— Publishers Weekly

“Ronald “Cheesie” Mack and his best friend, Georgie, are about to graduate fifth grade and embark on the best summer ever. Readers will be happy to learn that Cotler’s debut is the first in a new series. Cheesie chattily narrates his own story; his voice rings true, and the other characters are a gently quirky, appealing lot. His periodic invitations to read posts on or add stories to the CheesieMack.com website will hook denizens of the digital generation.”

— Kirkus Reviews

“Ronald, aka Cheesie, Mack is looking forward to a summer of scheming with his best friend, Georgie, terrorizing his sister June “the Goon,” and finally attending camp with Georgie as cool older campers. [T]hen Georgie finds an old letter containing a century-old penny and a locket, a mystery that eventually leads the pals to the Haunted Toad, a local rundown mansion. This is Cheesie’s story, and his easygoing, accessible voice will certainly appeal to middle-grade readers. From the plot to unleash mouse madness at the school graduation to his obsession with besting his older sister, the action here is all fun and games.”

— Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“Ronald Mack—better known as “Cheesie”—is an almost-11-year-old with a knack for silliness and trouble. Cheesie’s best friend, Georgie, is with him every step of the way. When the boys find a mysterious envelope, they’re in for the adventure of a lifetime. [A] rollicking read.”

— School Library Journal

Comments from my Readers & Friends

  1. hi cheese i can not what to read your book it looks very interasting just by the front of the book

  3. i love this book so much p.s. monster is my nicname but not becausse i’m mean!!!

    1. Ha! Did you know there’s a kind of cheese called muenster. So that sort of puts us in the same family!

  6. I LOVED UR BOOK SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!! u came to visit my school (R.E. Shaw School) and everyone in my class thinks that ur cool and funny.

  9. Who is your favorite actor and actress? Mine is James
    McAvoy and Angelina Jolie.
    P.S i really like your book

  13. i just loved cheesie mack the book .steve cotler is definatly one of the best authers in the world.my teacher mrs. parsons reads cheesie mack everyday.i am so glad i get to tell you how great this book is ps.what is the title of your next book

  14. I love the book! I have to read the next one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If there is. Is there!?
    Since it was such a gooooooooooood book I finished it Veeeeeeeeeeery quickly! It was one of the very best books I EVER read!

    3. there is another but i cant tell u he came to my school p.s. he is 67 my class thought he was 11 and if he wa nev mind but u will find out ta da

    1. I’m confused. You said you liked the book, so I assume you read it. So why don’t you know how many pages are in it? Did you check it out of the library and already return it?

    4. Will & Adriana—
      Actually there are 227 pages in my book, not 273. And I am now 11 years old. My birthday is August 16.

  18. Hey somebody told me about your book,so I tried it out. At first I thought it was going to be a little weird and it was.But after a while I started to get in to it and when I was done I loved it.

  19. I was reading your book for a book club. At first I thought I wouldn’t like it. But by the time I was done, it was one of the best books I ever read! Can’t wait to read your next one!!!!!!!!!

  22. Hi cheesie im going to go to school today i hope you have a great time in whatever town you going in hope you have lots of fun and tell me all about your vacation after the schools!

  24. iam writing my own book at home, and was really inspired by your book! you helped me come up with some new ideas! thanks! i can’t wait to read your next book. (P.S. your website set up is awesome!!!!!)

  25. Hey cheesie have youve been not cheking your website lately cause you havent been commenting for a while whats going on hu well i hope you have a nice time visiting lottttssss….. of schools well anyways thank you for coming to visit the sutton elementary school, and i loved being your escort i realy have to thank you welll thanks…. write back soon if you can o.k….. well,… bye!

    1. I have been very busy with homework. That’s why I sort of got far behind on my website. I had to do this really long report on volcanoes. My teacher lava-ed it! (HaHa!)

  26. Cheesie, I would love to know who your favorite actor is. My favorite is James McAvoy. I hope you have heard of him.

    1. My favorite actor is Natalie Portman. I know. I know. You thought I’d pick a male rather than a female, but lots of actresses call themselves actors, sort of turning that word into a male/female combined word.

  31. so looking forward to the Oct3 and 4th at my sons school…Shaw he is in grade 5 and like most boys …not that interested in reading …because he would rather play basketball or just play in the neighborhood…therefore the series of Wimpy Kid was key to spark his interest and not only read the whole series …he is excited about your book….how wonderful to turn on a young boy with a fun book…who otherwise was turned off…thank you from this pro-literacy mother of four sons…thanx u again and see you at Shaw and the pizza party..how fun is that! Also r u selling the books at the school or library or should I go to Barnes and Noble..and have it before we come..pls advise..I would like 2 copies ..one for Matt and one for a gift to his friend…thank you

  32. Loved the book. I’m in 5th grade too! Only I just started. Ugg… too much homework, not enough rest.

    1. Sure I like ribs! But what’s best is how messy they are. It’s the one thing I can eat in a restaurant that no one cares if my face is greasy and sauce-covered. (Except Goon…who is a vegetarian and who thinks eating ribs is “murderous behavior.”) I say yum!

    2. Ok Cheesie i will make sure to read it as soon as it comes out..also how long did it take you to write your book,edit it,and all that other stuff before you could get it published???

    5. Sorry I took so long to reply. Mom says homework comes first.
      It took me 2.5 months to write it. The editing took about as long.

    6. Oh it’s fine i just wanted to make sure that you knew i responded. And the time that it took your to write the book seems shorter than i expected.Also have you written any other books besides the two Cheesie Mack books?

    9. Sure I am. Sometimes it takes me a while to respond because I’m doing homework…or writing my next book…or just hanging with my friends.
      The only books I have written are two Cheesie Mack books..

  41. Hi Cheesie, yout book was AWESOME i really enjoyed it!!!!!:D Are you going to write another book??? I really hope you do!!!!!

  42. hey cheeseie i wanted to let you know that i can relate to you very well i havent finished the book yet im only on the part when you and georgie are looking in the coin shop and its only 8:50 i also have an older sibling but we dont fight as much and my name is cheese haha so yeah im hoping you will reply 🙂

    1. Hi, Cheese!

      No one calls me Cheese, but sometimes Gumpy, my other grandfather, calls me Cheeseball. Actually, though, I like the name Cheese.

  44. awsome book i could’nt put it down one of the best books i have ever read. I go to shool in southington ct it’s called derinoski

  50. this is a great book! are you going to make it a series?

    (P.S, thanks for visiting hall middle school! XD )

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